Fair-weather friends, everyone of us has them. They're the type of friends that are always there when it's convenient, or they need something, but when it comes time to return the favor they are never there. Sometimes we can be at fault of being one as well. While they aren't the most reliable, they are generally harmless; it's there darker twin that you have to watch out for.
I'm sure we've all witnessed this. The friend with a lot of issues that you're always helping out, but not only do they not return the favor, but they take everything out on you, even when you had nothing to do with why they're mad.
Life Issue # 4
Lately I have been finding myself hanging out with TH, AA, GA, and DT a lot. We've hung out maybe seven times in the last couple weeks. On St. Paddy's Day, we all went to a picnic with some of DT's college buddies. I brought MW and his friend AL with us. TH couldn't make it. AA, DT, and I didn't have our phones on us so instead of texting GA, TH flipped on us and said some very mean things that were uncalled for.
I would like to state that whatever minuscule crush that I had on TH is gone. Aesthetics doesn't count for personality at all! Even if I ever decided to be moronic enough to go that route after all his bullshit, I wouldn't because MW doesn't approve of him. MW and have to give the one another our approval if we were to seriously date anyone. My lovely best friend was ready to hit TH on my behalf.
I refused to talk to TH after that. After a couple days, I wasn't mad at him, but I wasn't going to talk to him either. I was just gonna let him go. Why should I put myself through anymore drama than I have to? It's not like I owe him anything, and it's not like I've known him that long so it's not like it's hard to just be done with him.
About five days ago I found out that my Aunt Grape is dying. She doesn't have long and she's already getting things ready for her passing. She knows she's going to die and I am devastated that such an amazing person has to die. The following afternoon I found out that my Great Grandfather had passed away. I didn't know what to feel. Everything was kinda warring itself out inside of me.
AA and DT decided that I needed something to take my mind off of everything. So they planned a big thing yesterday to cheer me up. TH had finally apologized so I was fine about him tagging along. Him and DT got into a little row and TH started to storm off. I asked him if he was just gonna leave and he said yes. He said he didn't care about what the day meant to me and it ended in a lot of profanity. He made me cry. AA was not happy with him. TH thought the whole thing was funny.
We left and went to go get something to eat when TH called AA because he left his Nook in the car. We went to go give it to him at his house. He made AA get out of the car to hand it to him. When she told him to apologize he just walked away. I got out of the car and said, "The least you could do is apologize." He just walked away. With everything going on, my stress level hit a high and I had a panic attack.
I haven't talked to him since. This morning I had to go to say goodbye to my Aunt and then go to my Poppy's wake. TH has spent the day making AA miserable. She's upset and doesn't know what to do. I( told her to just drop him.he starts talking to him again before he apologizes, then he won't apologize and he'll keep doing the same thing over and over again. He needs to learn that you can't lash out and treat people like crap and expect them to just deal with it and keep being there. If you hurt someone enough times, then they won't stick around. I've been through enough guys treating me like crap and I am not going to do it again.
On a side note, GA has a thing for MW. She doesn't seem to get that he is gay. And then there is the fact that he is "dating" a girl that happens to be very sweet, and knows that she's bearding. His boyfriends happens to be a good friend of mine also. She's starting to get really annoying with the whole thing. She started using my nickname for him, and she's starting to act just like I do with him. I know this might be paranoia, but it's like she's getting ready to nudge me out and take my place once I move to Canada at the end of the year. He is my best friend, he isn't into girls, and he's in a relationship. She needs to get it through her head.
What really got me was that she told me to not be so possessive over him! I am possessive of the nickname I gave him and I am only possessive of him when some chick comes in and thinks she can turn him straight! MW's brother agrees with me and he wants to set GA right. The two of us have waited for a long time for MW to be in a happy, healthy, stable relationship; MW is finally starting to except himself and his brother and I will be damned if we let some girl ruin that for him.
She also accused me of being in love with him. Yeah, no. Don't get me wrong. I love my MW to death, but I am in no way in love with him. The thought of dating him makes me feel sick, just like the thought of dating anyone does. I do not like the idea of relationships, and I definitely don't partake in them. I am just fine being independent. While I do get crushes and develop feelings for some guys, I just don't want to have a relationship. MW and I are codependent, not in a relationship.
(MW and his boyfriend have some intentions of following me up to Canada and then the three of us are going to rent an apartment together.)
So the main points here are:
1.) TH has been taking his problems out on AA, DT, and I. We don't deserve his backlash when we didn't do anything wrong.
2.) I am not speaking to TH, and I am over my tiny little crush on him. I have nine months left in NJ, and I am not going to spend it in confusion over some guy.
3.) My Aunt Grape is dying, and my Great Grandfather just passed away. I Said goodbye to my Aunt this morning and I went to Poppy's wake this afternoon.
4.) TH knew yesterday was supposed to be about cheering me up and he said he didn't care, said some horrible things to me, AA, and DT. Made me cry and induced a panic/anxiety attack.
5.) GA has a crush on a very gay and very not single MW. She doesn't seem to get the, 'He doesn't like boobies and vaginas' thing. And I am paranoid that she is trying to replace me as MW's best friend.
I'm not sure if things will be okay between TH and I ever again. I know that AA is going to talk to him whether or not he apologizes just because she feels bad. I am not sure if DT and TH will ever be friends again, but I hope things work out for them. I just know that I am not going to put myself in this type of situation again. I've come a long way from the insecure little girl I used to be.
I will admit that I am still insecure at times, but at least I know enough now to realize that I don't need this. I deserve more then to be stepped on by someone who claims to be my friend. If he can't put his need for attention aside for one day, just to be there for someone else, than I don't need him. I can't trust him now, so why would I put myself in a friendship that I can't trust? The whole point of being friends and caring about someone is that it's supposed to go both ways, and for TH it doesn't. All he does is take and yell and then expect everyone to just be fine with it because it's him. It's not okay. I'm not playing games until I leave. If he wants to earn my friendship back, then he's going to have to work for it. Some half arsed apology that I doubt I'll even get that, won't cut it.
If you have any advice, I'd love to hear it, and if you have a question, I'll do my best to answer it.
Until next time, this is Irony wishing you well.
Sincerely,
~ILive4Irony417 a.k.a Amanda.
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