Tuesday, December 24, 2013
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Relevance of Time
With the Holliday season upon us and 2014 drawing closer, it’s made me wonder……Where did this year go? It seems that it’s gone by in a flash, but when I think back to certain events this year, it feels like they happened so long ago.
This time last year, the Innocent Kittens came together and we formed the group that has changed so many lives and helped a lot of us grow up. I met people that quickly became my family. I reconnected with people from high school that I wasn’t nearly as close with then. It started out as only 12 of us, but throughout the year, we reached a high of 30-ish members. Currently we are at 20 something members.
The original Kittens group was made up of PJ, Padfoot, Megara, Prongs, Pink Panties, Tweedle Dee, Tweedle Dum, Red Queen, Gabba, Knave, Flotsom, and myself. Kari was added very soon after and can be considered an original.
A month after the group came together, we had our first party. Jan 11th, 2013. It’s when Pink Panties got his nickname. It’s where we realized how well we all got along. It’s where Knave and I officially became whatever it was we were doing for 7 months.
A few days after that party, I checked myself in the psychiatric unit of one of the hospitals near me. It was the same one I was in when I was 15. I will not deny that I have been battling depression for a long time, and have almost lost on more than one occasion. I was in a very bad place mentally, and was starting to have thoughts of suicide again. Serious thoughts about it. No matter how much better I get, the thoughts don’t really go away. I was afraid of relapsing, and went to get help before it became an issue.
I ended up getting the help I needed, and I was out not too long after I checked in. I was put on a different medication to help me cope with the stress I was feeling. Things were looking up. A week later, we found out that there was something wrong with my kidneys. Turns out the medication was dehydrating me, which was causing severe pain to my kidneys. I needed the medication, so I learned that I have to drink a Hell of a lot of fluids to keep the pain from coming back. Downside is that I have to pee all the time. Even now.
On January 27th, Red Queen and I had gotten into a small fight over her calling my sister and her friends immature, just because they were acting like regular 16 year old girls. The next day, the fight turned into a knockdown battle through text messages over her defending the pedo that messed with my family. Her and I ended our 7 year friendship with harsh but truthful words. We said things that we meant, and in the end, we were better off not being friends. That marked her departure with the Kittens. Gabba followed her sister right after, not feeling right about staying after all that happened.
My sister joined the Kittens a week later, along with Tigger. It was a huge leap of faith to include my sister in my safe haven. While there can be issues sometimes, it worked out better than I could have ever hoped it to. Sunshine has a group of people always looking out for her; a group that cares about her like family. It’s something that I wish I had had at her age. Winnie followed them not too long after.
Caesar was the next to join the group. She was introduced to us by Prongs. The first thing that Caesar did was lift my shirt and bra up to see my boobs, It was an interesting introduction, but she’s become a very close part of my family, as well as being one of my sister’s closest friends.
Princess was the next one to join the ever growing ranks of the Kittens. It was a drunken party and Pink Panties’ house. I ended up using him as a chew toy. I’m a very affectionate drunk. I ended up learning that my medication does NOT mix will with mass amounts of alcohol.
Sedan was the next to join. It was my way of telling her that we weren’t mad at her for accidentally leaking a private story about Red Queen that got me into trouble with my former friend and her sister.
Dreads joined right after the joint 20th birthday party Megara and I threw ourselves. That party was one of the more memorable one. We had a bonfire in my backyard, during a blizzard. I will never understand why we did it, but we did. I loved every second of it.
In April, Megan conspired with my mother to throw me a surprise 20th party. It was interesting, and will go down as the best party Mama ever threw me, but not for reasons that you’d expect. That night was the night that Cheese grater became an on-going inside joke with the Kittens. That was also the night that Princess decided to put on a strip show in my back yard. It wasn’t the last time that he whipped it out either. He got pretty cocky about his size after that night.
Kristen and JP were the next to join the group. They became Kittens after the first party at Caesar’s house. It was another night of drunken escapades, and a sauna. JP left soon after. It was just better with his on and off again relationship with Kristen.
This was now around the time that PJ asked Padfoot to prom, which Megara and I helped with. I was now filling in for Flotsom as Prongs’ prom date.
Prom rolled around, and I went as Prongs’ date to her senior prom. Our group consisted of Pink Panties, and Knave, who was his date, and Smalls and Amanda. It definitely topped my own senior prom. After prom was well, After Prom. It was a drunken night of debauchery, swimming, flirting, seeing dead people, and trying to pet fish. Smalls and Amanda joined the group that night.
The day after, After Prom, I was thinking of leaving the group. My sister can be a very mean drunk and things were said that made me feel like it was in everyone’s best interest if I were to leave the group. After a week of cool down time, and everyone talking things out, I decided to stay.
July 4, Knave and I ended whatever it was that we were doing. It was amicable for the most part, but I still made a point to let him know it was a dick move to use me as a replacement for my cousin and then end things because I just wasn’t her. We did make it a point to stay friends.
Padfoot and PJ’s relationship was on the rocks. He was becoming a complete and total jackass to everyone, and I was taking the brunt of it. It was causing a strain on all of us.
Adri joined the group and helped us to knock down Knave’s ego a few pegs.
Padfoot and I set Princess and Hades up with each other. Soon after, Hades and his best friend, Sammie, joined the group. Things were working out pretty damn well.
There was another party at Pink Panties’ house that ended up with his friend Sam whipping his dick out and joining the group. He was drunk. By this point, we’d seen most of the guys whip it out for us to see. The Innocent Kittens, really were never all too innocent. That was the second time that Zee was out at one of our parties. The then 14 year old was not actually permitted in the group, but came along with Tigger a lot anyways. We never really minded too much.
I had started working at Loving Hut, a vegan restaurant around this time. With the new job came two new Kittens, my coworkers, Watson and Lex.
This kid Jason ended up in our group somehow, and it was okay for a week. He turned out to be kind of psychotic, and that’s putting it mildly. We never really got around to kicking him out of the group.
In mid-August a few things happened all at once. I had a brief fling with Arda the asshole, Megara’s car ended up completely totaled, as did my dad’s due to a drunk driver smashing into Megara’s car so hard that the force knocked it into the back of my dad’s car. Thankfully we were all inside when this happened. Padfoot broke up with PJ, twice; he didn’t understand the first time and spent 2 weeks still thinking that they were together. Princess and Hades separated under less than ideal terms. It was a mess and Princess is still paying his dues for the lies that he told, but he has learned his lesson now. Prongs broke up with her long time boyfriend, but didn’t announce it for a week since all of the above happened at the same time. She ended up dating Edgar not too long after.
Edgar and Ry entered the group pretty fast. Hades left after his part with Princess.
With the exception of PJ becoming a total dick and lashing out on all of us, things had started to settle down into a nice flow.
Gabba and I were speaking again, and she started going out with the group again. Things were becoming good again, even though Knave was starting to pull away from all of us after Flotsom had flat out told him that it was never going to happen between them.
Pink Panties and Sedan started dating, and they make the cutest/awkward couple ever!
Gabba introduced me to Joker. It was instant attraction the moment we met. Things happened really fast with him. It was only 2 months but somehow he got to me in a way that took others years to. I’ll always be grateful that I never completely fell for him, and infinitely am I grateful that I never had sex with him. I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt about him not having STI’s but that boy got around.
Joker integrated with the Kittens seamlessly. It was too good to be true. He was everything I thought I wanted, even now I can’t bring myself to regret that. It was fun while it lasted. He couldn’t handle a little criticism from my mother and decided that he was done with me instead of apologizing to my pregnant mother, whom he insulted my accident. I did cry for a day afterward, but then sadness was replaced by anger. It’s honestly his loss. I’m just as fine without him as I was with him around. That was right before Thanksgiving.
Right after Halloween Caesar threw a Halloween party at her house. Flotsom was actual going to be at the party. Sunshine and I showed up an hour late. Flotsom was already passed out when we got there. We thought she was messing with us and just pretending to be asleep until the seizure started. She ended up coughing up blood. We called an ambulance and Amanda, Padfoot, and I preformed emergency first aid. Oxy was found in her bag and she had been drinking and smoking pot. We had to file a police report. Only 6 of us were there when the police showed up. We had everyone else leave, or it would have just made things so much more complicated.
Flotsom tried to blame everything on us, saying we forced her to take drugs. None of us knew she had them on her until after she started seizing and had to get her ID out of her bag. Her mother threatened police charges on us for saving her daughter’s life! It was ridiculous, but left us all shaken up. Flotsom’s boyfriend continuously harassed certain Kittens for weeks after, yelling at us for things that NEVER happened. He was never all that mentally stable either way. Charges were never actually pressed; it wasn’t the first time those cops had to deal with her making false claims.
Knave talked to us a few times after that party. Him and I got into it over how we chose to deal with things. He wanted us to stand by and coddle Flotsom until she decided to get help. The rest of us decided to cut her out of our lives until she got better. Standing by her is something that we would have done if she hadn’t tried to blame her mistakes on us. We weren’t about to jeopardize our futures on someone who didn’t care enough about us to tell the truth. Knave hasn’t spoken to any of us since the fight over what to do about everything. We all walked away, but he loves her too much to do that, even if it’s only hurting him in the end.
After that night, the Kitten’s group disbanded. Our group pages were taken down out of self-preservation. Rules were set up and we haven’t had another party since then. We’ve actually been keeping a low profile since that night. Eventually there were to more pages created for those of us who needed it to vent and feel safe to talk. As of right now, the Kittens are still no more. Those of us that were in the group call ourselves former Kittens now.
While we aren’t the Innocent Kittens anymore, there is a group of us that still hang out and talk regularly. The ones in the new page consist of Prongs, Padfoot, Megara, Pink Panties, Tweedle Dee, Tweedle Dum, Sunshine, Tigger, Winnie, Caesar, Princess, Sedan, Kristen, Amanda, Smalls, Dreads, Hades, Edgar, Ry and myself. I still see Watson all the time at work.
The close-nit group of us that are usually hang out and talk are Padfoot, Prongs, Edgar, Ry, Caesar, Megara, Sunshine, Tigger, Sedan, Pink Panties, and myself. When Dreads is back in the state, then he’s usually with us as well.
We still talk to the others, but not as much as we used to. When we can, we all try to see each other, it’s just that schedules conflict, and our lives outside the group demand attention. Even though the Kittens disbanded, our friendships are still mostly intact. With everything that’s happened, it’s made the year go by so fast, though looking back it feels like some of the events happened so much longer ago than they actually did. Time is relevant, but it goes by and slows down all at the same time so often that it’s all you can do to just live it day by day, and take the bumps, setbacks, and surprises as they come. Remembering this past year, so much ahs happened to all of us, and so much has changed, but at the same time, nothing’s really changed at all.
Sincerely~
ILive4Irony417 a.k.a. Amanda
This time last year, the Innocent Kittens came together and we formed the group that has changed so many lives and helped a lot of us grow up. I met people that quickly became my family. I reconnected with people from high school that I wasn’t nearly as close with then. It started out as only 12 of us, but throughout the year, we reached a high of 30-ish members. Currently we are at 20 something members.
The original Kittens group was made up of PJ, Padfoot, Megara, Prongs, Pink Panties, Tweedle Dee, Tweedle Dum, Red Queen, Gabba, Knave, Flotsom, and myself. Kari was added very soon after and can be considered an original.
A month after the group came together, we had our first party. Jan 11th, 2013. It’s when Pink Panties got his nickname. It’s where we realized how well we all got along. It’s where Knave and I officially became whatever it was we were doing for 7 months.
A few days after that party, I checked myself in the psychiatric unit of one of the hospitals near me. It was the same one I was in when I was 15. I will not deny that I have been battling depression for a long time, and have almost lost on more than one occasion. I was in a very bad place mentally, and was starting to have thoughts of suicide again. Serious thoughts about it. No matter how much better I get, the thoughts don’t really go away. I was afraid of relapsing, and went to get help before it became an issue.
I ended up getting the help I needed, and I was out not too long after I checked in. I was put on a different medication to help me cope with the stress I was feeling. Things were looking up. A week later, we found out that there was something wrong with my kidneys. Turns out the medication was dehydrating me, which was causing severe pain to my kidneys. I needed the medication, so I learned that I have to drink a Hell of a lot of fluids to keep the pain from coming back. Downside is that I have to pee all the time. Even now.
On January 27th, Red Queen and I had gotten into a small fight over her calling my sister and her friends immature, just because they were acting like regular 16 year old girls. The next day, the fight turned into a knockdown battle through text messages over her defending the pedo that messed with my family. Her and I ended our 7 year friendship with harsh but truthful words. We said things that we meant, and in the end, we were better off not being friends. That marked her departure with the Kittens. Gabba followed her sister right after, not feeling right about staying after all that happened.
My sister joined the Kittens a week later, along with Tigger. It was a huge leap of faith to include my sister in my safe haven. While there can be issues sometimes, it worked out better than I could have ever hoped it to. Sunshine has a group of people always looking out for her; a group that cares about her like family. It’s something that I wish I had had at her age. Winnie followed them not too long after.
Caesar was the next to join the group. She was introduced to us by Prongs. The first thing that Caesar did was lift my shirt and bra up to see my boobs, It was an interesting introduction, but she’s become a very close part of my family, as well as being one of my sister’s closest friends.
Princess was the next one to join the ever growing ranks of the Kittens. It was a drunken party and Pink Panties’ house. I ended up using him as a chew toy. I’m a very affectionate drunk. I ended up learning that my medication does NOT mix will with mass amounts of alcohol.
Sedan was the next to join. It was my way of telling her that we weren’t mad at her for accidentally leaking a private story about Red Queen that got me into trouble with my former friend and her sister.
Dreads joined right after the joint 20th birthday party Megara and I threw ourselves. That party was one of the more memorable one. We had a bonfire in my backyard, during a blizzard. I will never understand why we did it, but we did. I loved every second of it.
In April, Megan conspired with my mother to throw me a surprise 20th party. It was interesting, and will go down as the best party Mama ever threw me, but not for reasons that you’d expect. That night was the night that Cheese grater became an on-going inside joke with the Kittens. That was also the night that Princess decided to put on a strip show in my back yard. It wasn’t the last time that he whipped it out either. He got pretty cocky about his size after that night.
Kristen and JP were the next to join the group. They became Kittens after the first party at Caesar’s house. It was another night of drunken escapades, and a sauna. JP left soon after. It was just better with his on and off again relationship with Kristen.
This was now around the time that PJ asked Padfoot to prom, which Megara and I helped with. I was now filling in for Flotsom as Prongs’ prom date.
Prom rolled around, and I went as Prongs’ date to her senior prom. Our group consisted of Pink Panties, and Knave, who was his date, and Smalls and Amanda. It definitely topped my own senior prom. After prom was well, After Prom. It was a drunken night of debauchery, swimming, flirting, seeing dead people, and trying to pet fish. Smalls and Amanda joined the group that night.
The day after, After Prom, I was thinking of leaving the group. My sister can be a very mean drunk and things were said that made me feel like it was in everyone’s best interest if I were to leave the group. After a week of cool down time, and everyone talking things out, I decided to stay.
July 4, Knave and I ended whatever it was that we were doing. It was amicable for the most part, but I still made a point to let him know it was a dick move to use me as a replacement for my cousin and then end things because I just wasn’t her. We did make it a point to stay friends.
Padfoot and PJ’s relationship was on the rocks. He was becoming a complete and total jackass to everyone, and I was taking the brunt of it. It was causing a strain on all of us.
Adri joined the group and helped us to knock down Knave’s ego a few pegs.
Padfoot and I set Princess and Hades up with each other. Soon after, Hades and his best friend, Sammie, joined the group. Things were working out pretty damn well.
There was another party at Pink Panties’ house that ended up with his friend Sam whipping his dick out and joining the group. He was drunk. By this point, we’d seen most of the guys whip it out for us to see. The Innocent Kittens, really were never all too innocent. That was the second time that Zee was out at one of our parties. The then 14 year old was not actually permitted in the group, but came along with Tigger a lot anyways. We never really minded too much.
I had started working at Loving Hut, a vegan restaurant around this time. With the new job came two new Kittens, my coworkers, Watson and Lex.
This kid Jason ended up in our group somehow, and it was okay for a week. He turned out to be kind of psychotic, and that’s putting it mildly. We never really got around to kicking him out of the group.
In mid-August a few things happened all at once. I had a brief fling with Arda the asshole, Megara’s car ended up completely totaled, as did my dad’s due to a drunk driver smashing into Megara’s car so hard that the force knocked it into the back of my dad’s car. Thankfully we were all inside when this happened. Padfoot broke up with PJ, twice; he didn’t understand the first time and spent 2 weeks still thinking that they were together. Princess and Hades separated under less than ideal terms. It was a mess and Princess is still paying his dues for the lies that he told, but he has learned his lesson now. Prongs broke up with her long time boyfriend, but didn’t announce it for a week since all of the above happened at the same time. She ended up dating Edgar not too long after.
Edgar and Ry entered the group pretty fast. Hades left after his part with Princess.
With the exception of PJ becoming a total dick and lashing out on all of us, things had started to settle down into a nice flow.
Gabba and I were speaking again, and she started going out with the group again. Things were becoming good again, even though Knave was starting to pull away from all of us after Flotsom had flat out told him that it was never going to happen between them.
Pink Panties and Sedan started dating, and they make the cutest/awkward couple ever!
Gabba introduced me to Joker. It was instant attraction the moment we met. Things happened really fast with him. It was only 2 months but somehow he got to me in a way that took others years to. I’ll always be grateful that I never completely fell for him, and infinitely am I grateful that I never had sex with him. I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt about him not having STI’s but that boy got around.
Joker integrated with the Kittens seamlessly. It was too good to be true. He was everything I thought I wanted, even now I can’t bring myself to regret that. It was fun while it lasted. He couldn’t handle a little criticism from my mother and decided that he was done with me instead of apologizing to my pregnant mother, whom he insulted my accident. I did cry for a day afterward, but then sadness was replaced by anger. It’s honestly his loss. I’m just as fine without him as I was with him around. That was right before Thanksgiving.
Right after Halloween Caesar threw a Halloween party at her house. Flotsom was actual going to be at the party. Sunshine and I showed up an hour late. Flotsom was already passed out when we got there. We thought she was messing with us and just pretending to be asleep until the seizure started. She ended up coughing up blood. We called an ambulance and Amanda, Padfoot, and I preformed emergency first aid. Oxy was found in her bag and she had been drinking and smoking pot. We had to file a police report. Only 6 of us were there when the police showed up. We had everyone else leave, or it would have just made things so much more complicated.
Flotsom tried to blame everything on us, saying we forced her to take drugs. None of us knew she had them on her until after she started seizing and had to get her ID out of her bag. Her mother threatened police charges on us for saving her daughter’s life! It was ridiculous, but left us all shaken up. Flotsom’s boyfriend continuously harassed certain Kittens for weeks after, yelling at us for things that NEVER happened. He was never all that mentally stable either way. Charges were never actually pressed; it wasn’t the first time those cops had to deal with her making false claims.
Knave talked to us a few times after that party. Him and I got into it over how we chose to deal with things. He wanted us to stand by and coddle Flotsom until she decided to get help. The rest of us decided to cut her out of our lives until she got better. Standing by her is something that we would have done if she hadn’t tried to blame her mistakes on us. We weren’t about to jeopardize our futures on someone who didn’t care enough about us to tell the truth. Knave hasn’t spoken to any of us since the fight over what to do about everything. We all walked away, but he loves her too much to do that, even if it’s only hurting him in the end.
After that night, the Kitten’s group disbanded. Our group pages were taken down out of self-preservation. Rules were set up and we haven’t had another party since then. We’ve actually been keeping a low profile since that night. Eventually there were to more pages created for those of us who needed it to vent and feel safe to talk. As of right now, the Kittens are still no more. Those of us that were in the group call ourselves former Kittens now.
While we aren’t the Innocent Kittens anymore, there is a group of us that still hang out and talk regularly. The ones in the new page consist of Prongs, Padfoot, Megara, Pink Panties, Tweedle Dee, Tweedle Dum, Sunshine, Tigger, Winnie, Caesar, Princess, Sedan, Kristen, Amanda, Smalls, Dreads, Hades, Edgar, Ry and myself. I still see Watson all the time at work.
The close-nit group of us that are usually hang out and talk are Padfoot, Prongs, Edgar, Ry, Caesar, Megara, Sunshine, Tigger, Sedan, Pink Panties, and myself. When Dreads is back in the state, then he’s usually with us as well.
We still talk to the others, but not as much as we used to. When we can, we all try to see each other, it’s just that schedules conflict, and our lives outside the group demand attention. Even though the Kittens disbanded, our friendships are still mostly intact. With everything that’s happened, it’s made the year go by so fast, though looking back it feels like some of the events happened so much longer ago than they actually did. Time is relevant, but it goes by and slows down all at the same time so often that it’s all you can do to just live it day by day, and take the bumps, setbacks, and surprises as they come. Remembering this past year, so much ahs happened to all of us, and so much has changed, but at the same time, nothing’s really changed at all.
Sincerely~
ILive4Irony417 a.k.a. Amanda
Thursday, November 14, 2013
You Me At Six - Hope For The Best [NEW SONG - OFFICIAL]
http://www.youtube.com/v/85WUjwsG_Pk?version=3&autohide=1&showinfo=1&attribution_tag=fbZkKd3wpE-BF4IsU1BYgQ&autoplay=1&autohide=1&feature=share
Love Them! I cannot wait for the new album!
Love Them! I cannot wait for the new album!
Monday, September 23, 2013
New Paths, Strange Friends, and Life
Life has interesting ways of going where you never thought it would. Doesn't mean that it's a bad thing, but plans fall through. People change and we all grow up. Some of us, more gracefully than others. I have a new group of people in my life and some of the older group are still around, so let's update y'all first, then get into the juicy stuff.
We will start with my Fab 5. They are the 5 friends that I know I can always count on, and they will always have my back.
Megara~ My best friend, who I love. I know that I can always count on her. We've both been pretty busy lately and haven't seen each other much, but we talk almost everyday and we make time for one another. That's how you know who you're real friends are, and the ones who'll always be there. You work to make time for each other, even when you have no time to spare.
Padfoot aka Beret Girl~ She recently broke up with PJ, who still thinks that they are going to be getting back together. Not gonna happen! She's a great friend, and we have a lot of fun. Including when we pretended to date.
Prongs, aka Jetsom ~ She broke up with her boyfriend 2 months ago. She is now dating Edgar, who makes her so much happier than Oliver ever did. She's an interesting one, but I know she'll always be there if I need her.
Pink Panties ~ He may be dating my sister's friend now, but he will always be Pink Panties. He's one of the few people that know everything that happened when I went to Riverview last January. I know I can trust him, and that he'd be there if I ever needed him. He's like family now.
Tweedle Dee ~ He puts the Fab is Fab 5. He is just Fabulous! We share the same thought process and have an interesting outlook on most things. He is my partner in glittery crime, and I wouldn't change that for anything.
Next there is the "Little Ones" of the group. (The Kittens have grown to the massive size of 31!)
Sunshine ~ My 16 year old sister, who I am so happy that we can share a group of friends without steeping on each other's toes....much.
Knave ~ The youngest male of the group, who happens to have a 2 inch dick. (Megara says that it isn't a penis, it's a clit.) He and I didn't talk much this summer. There was the fallout with us trying to figure out how to be just friends. He doesn't know how to handle the me-being-over-him thing very well. He is still hopelessly head over heels for Flotsom.
Tigger ~ One of Sunshine's Fab 5. She is like another little sister to me. She can be pretty damn out there sometimes, but her heart is in the right place.
Winne~ Another of Sunshine's Fab 5. She is a sweetheart. She has been getting her shit in order lately and is doing a pretty good job of it. She's also great at Bon-Fires.
Sedan ~ She is dating Pink Panties. Another of Sunshine's Fab 5. She is very artistic and is my mini-me!
Zee ~ She is the youngest. Only 14, but pretty damn fun to hang out with. Another of Sunshine's Fab 5.
Now we got the other Kittens that I hang out with. PJ, who has been grating on all our nerves as of late. Princess, who came out and dated Hades. Caesar, who really needs to not smoke as much as she does. Flotsom, who has not interest in Knave, and told him that it isn't gonna happen, ever. Dreads, who is back in Delaware for now. Tweedle Dum, who is always working. Kari is back at school. Watson and Lex are back at school. Adri is elusive as always.
I've been hanging out with Smalls and Amanda more often. They are Edgar's friends as well. Amanda is how Prongs and Edgar met. My coworker, Syd, has joined the Kittens. She fits in with us very well.
Outside of the Kittens, I have a few other people that I hang out with and love. Gabba and I are good again, which I am very grateful for. She is taking a hiatus from the Kittens right now. Somma is back in my life again, well more active in it again. He is so active and I swear that man is perfect! Arda is an asshole, but a loveable one. Hades, of curse; he's in RI for school right now and I miss my baby! Then there is Ti, who I have known since we were 6.
The people in my life are very interesting, and I am very happy with all of them, mostly.
Now for some news!
1.) Momma is having a boy. I will be 20 years older than my little brother when my mom pops him out in December.
2.) Prongs and Oliver broke up and she is now dating Edgar.
3.) Padfoot and PJ broke up. It's for the best. He isn't taking it very well.
4.) PJ doesn't like Edgar because PJ is sad and bitter about being dumped so he doesn't like that Edgar makes Prongs happy.
5.) PJ has just been a massive dick to everyone lately and I cannot tolerate him that much anymore. None of us can.
6.)Pink Panties is dating Sedan! They are so adorably awkward together!
7.) My dad is moving down to Florida in April. Megara and I may be going with him. Her and I aren't sure yet.
Honestly, this year has just proved that plans that we set for ourselves just fall through. It isn't really a bad thing at all. Prongs is so much happier with Edgar than she was with Oliver. She may have thought she was going to spend her life with Oliver at the beginning of the year, but she is happier now. Padfoot is happier without PJ and she was going to consider marrying him at one point. I was going to go to Canada for beauty school. I got sick, those plans got shot to Hell, and now I am possibly going to Florida with my best friend and my father to go for business management.
Time changes your goals, and what you love. Sometimes it isn't for the best, but sometimes it works out in your favor. s ou get older you experiance so many new and exciting things. You learn more about yourself. Things that you though you'd love turn out to suck, and sometimes the paths you never thought you'd take turn out to be the ones that make you the happiest.
Sometimes the stress gets to be too much and things just change so fast. Sometimes I can't catch a break or my breath. My family can frustrate me to the point of near meltdown, and there can be huge knock down blowout fights. My friends are scattered, and sometimes we don't see each other for weeks or months on end. Despite everything and every setback/misfortune, I truly, genuinely am happy with my life and myself at this point.
Until next time,
Sincerely~
Irony Aka Amanda
We will start with my Fab 5. They are the 5 friends that I know I can always count on, and they will always have my back.
Megara~ My best friend, who I love. I know that I can always count on her. We've both been pretty busy lately and haven't seen each other much, but we talk almost everyday and we make time for one another. That's how you know who you're real friends are, and the ones who'll always be there. You work to make time for each other, even when you have no time to spare.
Padfoot aka Beret Girl~ She recently broke up with PJ, who still thinks that they are going to be getting back together. Not gonna happen! She's a great friend, and we have a lot of fun. Including when we pretended to date.
Prongs, aka Jetsom ~ She broke up with her boyfriend 2 months ago. She is now dating Edgar, who makes her so much happier than Oliver ever did. She's an interesting one, but I know she'll always be there if I need her.
Pink Panties ~ He may be dating my sister's friend now, but he will always be Pink Panties. He's one of the few people that know everything that happened when I went to Riverview last January. I know I can trust him, and that he'd be there if I ever needed him. He's like family now.
Tweedle Dee ~ He puts the Fab is Fab 5. He is just Fabulous! We share the same thought process and have an interesting outlook on most things. He is my partner in glittery crime, and I wouldn't change that for anything.
Next there is the "Little Ones" of the group. (The Kittens have grown to the massive size of 31!)
Sunshine ~ My 16 year old sister, who I am so happy that we can share a group of friends without steeping on each other's toes....much.
Knave ~ The youngest male of the group, who happens to have a 2 inch dick. (Megara says that it isn't a penis, it's a clit.) He and I didn't talk much this summer. There was the fallout with us trying to figure out how to be just friends. He doesn't know how to handle the me-being-over-him thing very well. He is still hopelessly head over heels for Flotsom.
Tigger ~ One of Sunshine's Fab 5. She is like another little sister to me. She can be pretty damn out there sometimes, but her heart is in the right place.
Winne~ Another of Sunshine's Fab 5. She is a sweetheart. She has been getting her shit in order lately and is doing a pretty good job of it. She's also great at Bon-Fires.
Sedan ~ She is dating Pink Panties. Another of Sunshine's Fab 5. She is very artistic and is my mini-me!
Zee ~ She is the youngest. Only 14, but pretty damn fun to hang out with. Another of Sunshine's Fab 5.
Now we got the other Kittens that I hang out with. PJ, who has been grating on all our nerves as of late. Princess, who came out and dated Hades. Caesar, who really needs to not smoke as much as she does. Flotsom, who has not interest in Knave, and told him that it isn't gonna happen, ever. Dreads, who is back in Delaware for now. Tweedle Dum, who is always working. Kari is back at school. Watson and Lex are back at school. Adri is elusive as always.
I've been hanging out with Smalls and Amanda more often. They are Edgar's friends as well. Amanda is how Prongs and Edgar met. My coworker, Syd, has joined the Kittens. She fits in with us very well.
Outside of the Kittens, I have a few other people that I hang out with and love. Gabba and I are good again, which I am very grateful for. She is taking a hiatus from the Kittens right now. Somma is back in my life again, well more active in it again. He is so active and I swear that man is perfect! Arda is an asshole, but a loveable one. Hades, of curse; he's in RI for school right now and I miss my baby! Then there is Ti, who I have known since we were 6.
The people in my life are very interesting, and I am very happy with all of them, mostly.
Now for some news!
1.) Momma is having a boy. I will be 20 years older than my little brother when my mom pops him out in December.
2.) Prongs and Oliver broke up and she is now dating Edgar.
3.) Padfoot and PJ broke up. It's for the best. He isn't taking it very well.
4.) PJ doesn't like Edgar because PJ is sad and bitter about being dumped so he doesn't like that Edgar makes Prongs happy.
5.) PJ has just been a massive dick to everyone lately and I cannot tolerate him that much anymore. None of us can.
6.)Pink Panties is dating Sedan! They are so adorably awkward together!
7.) My dad is moving down to Florida in April. Megara and I may be going with him. Her and I aren't sure yet.
Honestly, this year has just proved that plans that we set for ourselves just fall through. It isn't really a bad thing at all. Prongs is so much happier with Edgar than she was with Oliver. She may have thought she was going to spend her life with Oliver at the beginning of the year, but she is happier now. Padfoot is happier without PJ and she was going to consider marrying him at one point. I was going to go to Canada for beauty school. I got sick, those plans got shot to Hell, and now I am possibly going to Florida with my best friend and my father to go for business management.
Time changes your goals, and what you love. Sometimes it isn't for the best, but sometimes it works out in your favor. s ou get older you experiance so many new and exciting things. You learn more about yourself. Things that you though you'd love turn out to suck, and sometimes the paths you never thought you'd take turn out to be the ones that make you the happiest.
Sometimes the stress gets to be too much and things just change so fast. Sometimes I can't catch a break or my breath. My family can frustrate me to the point of near meltdown, and there can be huge knock down blowout fights. My friends are scattered, and sometimes we don't see each other for weeks or months on end. Despite everything and every setback/misfortune, I truly, genuinely am happy with my life and myself at this point.
Until next time,
Sincerely~
Irony Aka Amanda
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Six Years Wiser; Six Years Dumber
At 14, if I was told that everything I thought would last, would end….Well I would have argued. I would have used every word in the book to make you feel like a complete and total moron for even thinking that you knew my life better than me. I was 14; I knew everything. I would say that I know better than that right now, but honestly, I still wouldn’t take kindly to anyone claiming to know my life better than I do.
At 14 I had two of the best friends I could have asked for, at the time. I was a freshman in high school; thought I was so cool. Rules didn’t apply to me and I could do what ever the Hell I wanted. And I did. I made a huge mess of everything, but carried on through it. I was too proud to ask for help then, and sometimes my pride still bites me in the ass.
My Nanny was always going to be around. Back then, I never even entertained the thought that there would be a time when she wasn’t around. Sometimes it still doesn’t feel like she’s gone. I don’t know if she’d be proud of who I am now, but I know she would be happy that I started getting my shit in order. It hurts some day’s when I catch myself dialing her number in excitement only to realize that she will never be able to answer again. I may not believe in God or Heaven, even Hell, but I will always believe that Nanny is somewhere keeping an eye on us all.
My parents were never going to actually separate and divorce. It was something they discussed with us and talked to us about, but they were never going to go through with it. It had been a topic for years that just kept getting pushed off until I truly believed it was only ever going to be just talk.
I thought that I would always be living in my childhood home. I knew realistically that, that would never actually happen. It’s just the actual reality of it had never crossed my mind. Knowing something doesn’t always make it feel real until the actuality of it comes out of no where and bites you in the ass.
I knew that I never would be n good footing with my mother. And even now, it’s hit or miss most days. It was a horrible relationship. A lot of damage has been done to it over the years for it to be so easily repaired. It’ll take a lot more time for us to be okay with each other. There are too many differences in opinions, and both of us are too stubborn and firm in our own beliefs.
Back then, I truly and honestly thought I was going to be dead by the time I was 18. I had no faith in things getting better for me. I thought that I was going to end it all before I graduated and teach everyone a lesson about what their actions had caused. It was selfish and I didn’t care. I wanted to make everyone else suffer for the pain I was feeling. The truth is that some of them didn’t really do anything to me. I was just placing all my aggravation at myself on them. I was so stuck in my head that I didn’t realize how much I was hurting myself.
Being liked and having a ton of friends was so important to me. The same thing that is important to every single freshman. It makes me laugh to think of how much all of us had in common with each other, even though we all tried to deny it. We walked around with an air of self importance, pretending we were better than everyone else. We thought we were special and that made us entitled to better things. Truth is, none of us were better than anyone else. We were stupid little kids pretending to be adults.
Six years isn’t really that long of a time. It’s such an insignificant amount of space compared to how long most of us will live for. It’s insane how much can happen in such a short time. Six years since Cory passed away. Since most of us had our first reality check; we were young, yes, but we weren’t going to live forever. It hit some of us harder than others. And he was just the first. There were so many more of us that died way too young. It gave some of us a wake-up call, while others took it as a sign to look down the bottle and find happiness in self destruction. We were all hurting, but acted as if we were the sole persons in pain.
In six years our entire lives have turned in directions that we probably never thought they would. My two best friends that I thought were forever…….I don’t really speak to either of them anymore. Now at 20 years old, they are both settled down with kids. April had hers junior year, and Laura is about to pop hers out. They were great lessons to be had, and the friends I wanted at the time. I will never regret that, but they weren’t true friends. Looking back on everything I went through with them, I don’t know how I missed the obvious signs. I was 14 and I just knew that those friendships would last forever.
At 17 I lost my Nanny. She was the one person I thought would always be around. I thought that no matter what happened, no matter how much shit I caused, that she would always be there to help me get back up and fix things. I thought I was always going to have that safe space to be completely myself with no fear or judgment, with her. I trusted Nanny more than I trusted anyone, and she took my secrets with her to the grave. She was going to be around forever so I never thought to prepare for when she wouldn’t be.
My family fell apart around me. It was drama and chaos. Aunts, Uncles, and cousins moving in and out. Too many people in one house, and getting on each other’s nerves. It was bad. The fighting was intense and it caused stress on already tense relationships. It was enough to make us moving out seem like the best idea. And I have to say that it really was good for all of us.
Mama started dating this guy. He was okay. She was happy and that’s all that really mattered. I didn’t particularly care either way. Okay, that’s a lie. I pretty much pretended that he wasn’t there. I pretended things were back to the normal I wanted. It was how I dealt with it. It wasn’t that I had a problem with Mama and Dad actually being done and over, it was just Mike. There was something about him that I didn’t want to be a permanent fixture in my life. I’m still not sure what exactly that something was; I just knew he wasn’t meant to be a permanent member of my very unique family.
Things with my mother could still be better, but we have more of an understanding with each other. Actually I don’t think understanding is the right word. We still butt heads, and don’t know why we act the way we do. We have some similar tastes, but are so far different from one another. More or less, we’ve learned to adapt to each other, which is good enough for now. I don’t know if we will ever have that ideal mother-daughter relationship, but we can be civil and act like adults. It’s nice getting to see what glimpses of that ideal relationship is like.
As for believing that I would have been dead by now, sometimes I find it a miracle that I’m not, With all the deaths of my classmates, I don’t know how I managed not to be one of them. Sometimes, I think it would have been better if it were me instead of one of them. All of them had so much to live for. They could have been someone great, doing something amazing. I’m not saying that I have nothing to live for, but I have made so many mistakes and fucked up so many people’s lives out of anger and spite. If it were me instead, then how much damage wouldn’t have happened?
At 14, I never would have thought that the only four people from my class that I would still be talking to after graduation, would be Megara, Nishant, Somma, and Josh. Megara became the best friend I could have ever asked for. At 20, I know what real friends are. I am extremely lucky to have such a large group of people that I can count on. I don’t know if I will still be as close with them as I am now in the future, but I’ve no doubt in my mind that most of them will still be in my life six years from now.
My friends have become the family that I never knew I wanted until I had them. They are insane and crazy. They showed me what I wish I had when I was 14. I love them all. Even when we piss each other off and we question why we put up with one another, I know that we will have each other’s backs through it all. Megara has become my sister in every sense except blood. I know that without a shadow of a doubt, that she will be in my life for the long haul. I would do anything for her, and I know she would do the same.
My mother is now having a kid with my step dad. I knew Mike wasn’t going to be a forever fixture. That spot was meant to be filled by Sean. He will never be my father, but he has been a part of my family since before I was born. Sean was meant to be with my mother. They are forever.
I have three parents that I know care about me, even if it’s in their own odd ways. I have three younger sisters, and brother on the way. I love them all so much. I would do a lot for them. We get on each other’s nerves purposely just because we can. We yell and argue over the dumbest things, but we’re sisters. An hour later, all is forgiven and we’re good again until the next time.
It’s funny how much everything can change in only 6 short years. At 14, I wanted to be a fashion designer. I was positive that, that was what I was going to be doing for the rest of my life. There were quite a few other ideas between then and now. At this point, I’m still not sure what I want to do or who I want to be. 6 years ago I wanted to design clothes, and be in the fashion world, but now I’m thinking of either going for culinary, or going to beauty school. The one positive thing I know is that I want to get a business degree.
At 14, if you were to tell me that I would be tattooed, pierced, and truly confident in myself, I would think you were trying to butter me up to get something from me. If you were to tell me that I would lose contact with everyone I thought I’d know forever, I’d have hit you for trying to make me mad. Back then, if you were to tell me that I was going to hit rock bottom and come out of it with a new life….. I don’t know what I would have done. I might have yelled at you for saying I was going to hit rock bottom, or I may have tried to flambé you with a vocabulary more extensive than most 14 year olds have.
At 20, I know that I made stupid choices when I was younger. I know that I had to learn from my own mistakes, and believe me, there are a lot of them. I am impulsive and don’t always think things through before acting. I don’t like asking for help, and I let my pride dictate my actions some days. There are days when all I want to do is make someone else hurt as much as I do. There are times when I just want to hurt some for the sake of hurting someone. My temper is a bitch to reign in, and I know I have to work on it.
At 14 years old, I knew everything. I was the smartest person, and everyone else knew nothing. At 20 years old, I know one thing for certain, and that’s that I don’t really know much of anything at all.
At 14 I had two of the best friends I could have asked for, at the time. I was a freshman in high school; thought I was so cool. Rules didn’t apply to me and I could do what ever the Hell I wanted. And I did. I made a huge mess of everything, but carried on through it. I was too proud to ask for help then, and sometimes my pride still bites me in the ass.
My Nanny was always going to be around. Back then, I never even entertained the thought that there would be a time when she wasn’t around. Sometimes it still doesn’t feel like she’s gone. I don’t know if she’d be proud of who I am now, but I know she would be happy that I started getting my shit in order. It hurts some day’s when I catch myself dialing her number in excitement only to realize that she will never be able to answer again. I may not believe in God or Heaven, even Hell, but I will always believe that Nanny is somewhere keeping an eye on us all.
My parents were never going to actually separate and divorce. It was something they discussed with us and talked to us about, but they were never going to go through with it. It had been a topic for years that just kept getting pushed off until I truly believed it was only ever going to be just talk.
I thought that I would always be living in my childhood home. I knew realistically that, that would never actually happen. It’s just the actual reality of it had never crossed my mind. Knowing something doesn’t always make it feel real until the actuality of it comes out of no where and bites you in the ass.
I knew that I never would be n good footing with my mother. And even now, it’s hit or miss most days. It was a horrible relationship. A lot of damage has been done to it over the years for it to be so easily repaired. It’ll take a lot more time for us to be okay with each other. There are too many differences in opinions, and both of us are too stubborn and firm in our own beliefs.
Back then, I truly and honestly thought I was going to be dead by the time I was 18. I had no faith in things getting better for me. I thought that I was going to end it all before I graduated and teach everyone a lesson about what their actions had caused. It was selfish and I didn’t care. I wanted to make everyone else suffer for the pain I was feeling. The truth is that some of them didn’t really do anything to me. I was just placing all my aggravation at myself on them. I was so stuck in my head that I didn’t realize how much I was hurting myself.
Being liked and having a ton of friends was so important to me. The same thing that is important to every single freshman. It makes me laugh to think of how much all of us had in common with each other, even though we all tried to deny it. We walked around with an air of self importance, pretending we were better than everyone else. We thought we were special and that made us entitled to better things. Truth is, none of us were better than anyone else. We were stupid little kids pretending to be adults.
Six years isn’t really that long of a time. It’s such an insignificant amount of space compared to how long most of us will live for. It’s insane how much can happen in such a short time. Six years since Cory passed away. Since most of us had our first reality check; we were young, yes, but we weren’t going to live forever. It hit some of us harder than others. And he was just the first. There were so many more of us that died way too young. It gave some of us a wake-up call, while others took it as a sign to look down the bottle and find happiness in self destruction. We were all hurting, but acted as if we were the sole persons in pain.
In six years our entire lives have turned in directions that we probably never thought they would. My two best friends that I thought were forever…….I don’t really speak to either of them anymore. Now at 20 years old, they are both settled down with kids. April had hers junior year, and Laura is about to pop hers out. They were great lessons to be had, and the friends I wanted at the time. I will never regret that, but they weren’t true friends. Looking back on everything I went through with them, I don’t know how I missed the obvious signs. I was 14 and I just knew that those friendships would last forever.
At 17 I lost my Nanny. She was the one person I thought would always be around. I thought that no matter what happened, no matter how much shit I caused, that she would always be there to help me get back up and fix things. I thought I was always going to have that safe space to be completely myself with no fear or judgment, with her. I trusted Nanny more than I trusted anyone, and she took my secrets with her to the grave. She was going to be around forever so I never thought to prepare for when she wouldn’t be.
My family fell apart around me. It was drama and chaos. Aunts, Uncles, and cousins moving in and out. Too many people in one house, and getting on each other’s nerves. It was bad. The fighting was intense and it caused stress on already tense relationships. It was enough to make us moving out seem like the best idea. And I have to say that it really was good for all of us.
Mama started dating this guy. He was okay. She was happy and that’s all that really mattered. I didn’t particularly care either way. Okay, that’s a lie. I pretty much pretended that he wasn’t there. I pretended things were back to the normal I wanted. It was how I dealt with it. It wasn’t that I had a problem with Mama and Dad actually being done and over, it was just Mike. There was something about him that I didn’t want to be a permanent fixture in my life. I’m still not sure what exactly that something was; I just knew he wasn’t meant to be a permanent member of my very unique family.
Things with my mother could still be better, but we have more of an understanding with each other. Actually I don’t think understanding is the right word. We still butt heads, and don’t know why we act the way we do. We have some similar tastes, but are so far different from one another. More or less, we’ve learned to adapt to each other, which is good enough for now. I don’t know if we will ever have that ideal mother-daughter relationship, but we can be civil and act like adults. It’s nice getting to see what glimpses of that ideal relationship is like.
As for believing that I would have been dead by now, sometimes I find it a miracle that I’m not, With all the deaths of my classmates, I don’t know how I managed not to be one of them. Sometimes, I think it would have been better if it were me instead of one of them. All of them had so much to live for. They could have been someone great, doing something amazing. I’m not saying that I have nothing to live for, but I have made so many mistakes and fucked up so many people’s lives out of anger and spite. If it were me instead, then how much damage wouldn’t have happened?
At 14, I never would have thought that the only four people from my class that I would still be talking to after graduation, would be Megara, Nishant, Somma, and Josh. Megara became the best friend I could have ever asked for. At 20, I know what real friends are. I am extremely lucky to have such a large group of people that I can count on. I don’t know if I will still be as close with them as I am now in the future, but I’ve no doubt in my mind that most of them will still be in my life six years from now.
My friends have become the family that I never knew I wanted until I had them. They are insane and crazy. They showed me what I wish I had when I was 14. I love them all. Even when we piss each other off and we question why we put up with one another, I know that we will have each other’s backs through it all. Megara has become my sister in every sense except blood. I know that without a shadow of a doubt, that she will be in my life for the long haul. I would do anything for her, and I know she would do the same.
My mother is now having a kid with my step dad. I knew Mike wasn’t going to be a forever fixture. That spot was meant to be filled by Sean. He will never be my father, but he has been a part of my family since before I was born. Sean was meant to be with my mother. They are forever.
I have three parents that I know care about me, even if it’s in their own odd ways. I have three younger sisters, and brother on the way. I love them all so much. I would do a lot for them. We get on each other’s nerves purposely just because we can. We yell and argue over the dumbest things, but we’re sisters. An hour later, all is forgiven and we’re good again until the next time.
It’s funny how much everything can change in only 6 short years. At 14, I wanted to be a fashion designer. I was positive that, that was what I was going to be doing for the rest of my life. There were quite a few other ideas between then and now. At this point, I’m still not sure what I want to do or who I want to be. 6 years ago I wanted to design clothes, and be in the fashion world, but now I’m thinking of either going for culinary, or going to beauty school. The one positive thing I know is that I want to get a business degree.
At 14, if you were to tell me that I would be tattooed, pierced, and truly confident in myself, I would think you were trying to butter me up to get something from me. If you were to tell me that I would lose contact with everyone I thought I’d know forever, I’d have hit you for trying to make me mad. Back then, if you were to tell me that I was going to hit rock bottom and come out of it with a new life….. I don’t know what I would have done. I might have yelled at you for saying I was going to hit rock bottom, or I may have tried to flambé you with a vocabulary more extensive than most 14 year olds have.
At 20, I know that I made stupid choices when I was younger. I know that I had to learn from my own mistakes, and believe me, there are a lot of them. I am impulsive and don’t always think things through before acting. I don’t like asking for help, and I let my pride dictate my actions some days. There are days when all I want to do is make someone else hurt as much as I do. There are times when I just want to hurt some for the sake of hurting someone. My temper is a bitch to reign in, and I know I have to work on it.
At 14 years old, I knew everything. I was the smartest person, and everyone else knew nothing. At 20 years old, I know one thing for certain, and that’s that I don’t really know much of anything at all.
Monday, June 10, 2013
Broken Hearts, Pregnant Mother's, and Prom
Right now I have a migraine that makes me want to curl up and die.I haven't posted in a couple months and I know that if I don't post something now, then I'll be lazy about it. I'm going to keep this a short post, which you know is something that I'm usually not capable of doing.
Here are a few quick updates about what's going on in my crazy family/life:
1.) My Mama is pregnant!!!!!!!!!!! And it just may be twins. I will keep all of you posted as the pregnancy progresses.
2.) I am going to be Jetsem's date to her senior prom. Knave is going to be Ling's date.
3.) Knave and I got into a little fight, which I will post the details of later on.
4.) My stepdad is booting his freeloading sister out of the house. Thankfully. I will post more on that soon.
So I am very confused about what is going on with me and Knave. I don't know if it falls into Life Issues or Lessons Learned. I am just going to post it and hopefully some of you will have advice for me.
I am just going to copy and paste my convo with Beret Girl about the entire thing because my head is killing me and I really can't look at this screen for much longer. First, I'll put a brief synopsis of it that I sent to Tarzan. He currently wants to kick Knave's ass.
So here is what I sent to Tarzan about what went down with me and Knave:
Hey love! I need your opinion/advice/etc. Okay, so I fell head over heels for my friend Knave. I told him and we agreed just friends. Then later that night he told our friend, Watson that it's complicated when she asked if we were together. He pulls me into his lap and grabs my hand and flirts all the time. So I confronted him on what the Hell are we doing. He said that we were something, but he didn't know what. So this goes on for a bit and it just gets confusing. So I ask him on a date and he says no. His reason is that I am not Flotsom. She is my cousin, who Knave happens to like. I am not good enough because I am not her. She is dating someone. So I stop talking to him outside of group hangouts. We share the same group of friends so it isn't like I can vent my frustration without causing drama. I am not gonna do that to them. He just keeps flirting with me and acting like he didn't completely break my heart by telling me I am not enough because I am not my cousin. I have no idea what to do. I can't tell him to knock it off without causing issues and at the same time, even though I am mad at him, I don't want him to stop even though it hurts me.
Yeah, so I am just going to leave it at this for now. I will post my convo with Beret Girl about it tomorrow. This migraine is making me really sick right now.
Sincerely,
Irony
Here are a few quick updates about what's going on in my crazy family/life:
1.) My Mama is pregnant!!!!!!!!!!! And it just may be twins. I will keep all of you posted as the pregnancy progresses.
2.) I am going to be Jetsem's date to her senior prom. Knave is going to be Ling's date.
3.) Knave and I got into a little fight, which I will post the details of later on.
4.) My stepdad is booting his freeloading sister out of the house. Thankfully. I will post more on that soon.
So I am very confused about what is going on with me and Knave. I don't know if it falls into Life Issues or Lessons Learned. I am just going to post it and hopefully some of you will have advice for me.
I am just going to copy and paste my convo with Beret Girl about the entire thing because my head is killing me and I really can't look at this screen for much longer. First, I'll put a brief synopsis of it that I sent to Tarzan. He currently wants to kick Knave's ass.
So here is what I sent to Tarzan about what went down with me and Knave:
Hey love! I need your opinion/advice/etc. Okay, so I fell head over heels for my friend Knave. I told him and we agreed just friends. Then later that night he told our friend, Watson that it's complicated when she asked if we were together. He pulls me into his lap and grabs my hand and flirts all the time. So I confronted him on what the Hell are we doing. He said that we were something, but he didn't know what. So this goes on for a bit and it just gets confusing. So I ask him on a date and he says no. His reason is that I am not Flotsom. She is my cousin, who Knave happens to like. I am not good enough because I am not her. She is dating someone. So I stop talking to him outside of group hangouts. We share the same group of friends so it isn't like I can vent my frustration without causing drama. I am not gonna do that to them. He just keeps flirting with me and acting like he didn't completely break my heart by telling me I am not enough because I am not my cousin. I have no idea what to do. I can't tell him to knock it off without causing issues and at the same time, even though I am mad at him, I don't want him to stop even though it hurts me.
Yeah, so I am just going to leave it at this for now. I will post my convo with Beret Girl about it tomorrow. This migraine is making me really sick right now.
Sincerely,
Irony
Monday, February 25, 2013
DNA Doesn't Make Them Family
In life we are lucky to find even three people that we can count on through anything. Three people that we can call true friends.
For me, I've never I had a close family. I have a large family and a lot of relatives but we aren't a very close family. I don't really know anyone on my dad's side. I know my Uncle Al, who is the only blood related Uncle that I'm actually close to. My Grandma K, who I don't really get to see much. My Aunt Kathy, who passed away last March, and her daughter Jeni.
My mom has two brothers and two sisters. Uncle Richie and I are not close. He has this thing where he thinks he's better than all of us. My Aunt Nancy is a crazy, sociopathic, megalomaniac, and a pathological liar who had cheated on her husband and then married her first cousin.Uncle Stephen and I were close when I was younger; somethings can never be unsaid. We aren't very close now. He has abandoned us in favor of his girlfriend's family. Aunt Joann was cool until recently; she pulled some stunts that have distanced us.
On my mom's side I only really talk to my cousin Danielle and her family, my cousin Jake, and the monster trio. Sarah and I were very close, but her mother is Aunt Nancy. I don't really see her all that much now. I'm cool with Uncle Bobby and Uncle Jackie. Great Aunt Joann is sweet and Uncle Jerry is hysterical.
My family isn't really made up of people I'm related to. Aunt Cindy is my mom's friend, as is Uncle Brian. Aunt Heather is my step-dad's sister. Sarah, Jake and Noah are Brian's kids. They are my family along with my step-sisters, my sister, my Mama, dad, and step-dad. I got Poppop, but that's only when he remembers us. My friends count for the other half of my family.
As I said in the beginning, we are lucky if we can find three people that we can call our true friends. I am fortunate enough to say that I have found twelve. We are oddly close for such a large group.
I know that outside of the group I have Tarzan, but he lives in another state and we aren't as close as we were, even if we talk to each other quite a lot on facebook. Mad Hatter and I aren't really as close anymore. I still care about him a lot, but I have realized that there is a lot that I am not comfortable talking to him about. He is still my friend, but he isn't my best friend anymore. It took me going into Riverview to realize that. He wasn't one of the people I wanted to visit me.
My two best friends are Megara and PJ. Megara and I have been friends since middle school. We had our first jobs together. I can tell her anything and trust her with everything. She is my sister in every sense except DNA. She is a part of my family and I know that she will always be someone I can count on. I would do anything for her. She has done so much for me, and I don't think I could ever repay her enough for it all.
PJ and I were set up on a blind date almost two years ago. It did not work out at all. I little over a year ago we started to talk on facebook. I invited him to my anti-Valentine's party and that was it. We started hanging out more and more. In the last year he has become one the best friend's I could have asked for. Yes, there are times when we get on each other's nerves and we cannot talk comics without getting into a full blown geek-war, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. He's like family now.
Sunshine is now a Kitten, and I'm glad that my sister and I are close enough now that we can share a group of friends without stepping n each other's toes.
Beret Girl and I knew each other in high school but we didn't become close until she started dating PJ. She is one of the funniest people I have ever met. We both fangirl over Glee, much to PJ's annoyance. She helps Megara and I prank PJ, and she is just awesome.
Tweedle Dee and I knew each other in high school as well. We both love glitter and are determined to take over the world with it one day. We are DC obsessed and love the same manga/anime. When we fangirl, we fangirl all out.
Tweedle Dum is just the sweetest guy I have ever met. He is very respectful, a little loud, and a lot o fun. He's one of those people that there presence just makes everyone feel safe and comfortable. He doesn't judge (no one in the group does). He is a great friend.
Flotsom is my cousin. She is a sweet girl, and very fun to hang out with. She is crazy and entertaining. Love when she comes out with us. She is just adorable.
Jetsom is Flotsom's best friend. She is awesome. We have a lot in common and talk a lot. She is very understanding and always keeps things interesting.
Knave of Hearts is just really something else. He and I have the same taste in movies, and most music. We agree on a lot except Glee. I will convert him into a Gleek one day! I love him, but I'll get over that eventually.
Ling is another one that I can tell anything to. He and Megara are the only ones who know about Riverview in its entirety. He is very sweet, kinda awkward, and all over awesome. He's a very fun person, and always interesting to hang out with.
Big Mama seems like she is older than all of us, but she isn't. She is a fun person and has a lot of good opinions and talents. I can't wait for her to get back during spring break.
New to the group is Caesar. He fits in with us perfectly. Jetsom introduced him to us. He's funny and smart. In a few weeks he'll be perfectly integrated with the rest of us.
The Kittens have very little boundaries. We tell each other almost everything, and we are completely comfortable around one another. We have pretty much zero tolerance for bullshit, and will call each other out if we think one of us is pulling it. We have very little conflict, almost non-existent. We balance one another out, we act crazy, but at the end of the day, we have each other's backs. They are my family and I caouldn't have asked for a better one.
It doesn't matter that I am not e=very close with my blood related family because true family isn't really about blood. It's about the people who love you for you. The ones who came into your life and never left. Family is about the people who will have your back while letting you know when you are being stupid. They stick with you through the bad times, and make the good times better. They tease you, and frustrate you, but you love them anyways. You piss them off, and argue, but know that when it counts, you will stand back to back. At the end end of they day, I know that I have my three parents, my stepsisters, my sister, two uncles, two Aunts, and a few cousins that make up half of my family. The other half are the Kittens. They are all my family, my real family. I wouldn't trade them for the world.
For me, I've never I had a close family. I have a large family and a lot of relatives but we aren't a very close family. I don't really know anyone on my dad's side. I know my Uncle Al, who is the only blood related Uncle that I'm actually close to. My Grandma K, who I don't really get to see much. My Aunt Kathy, who passed away last March, and her daughter Jeni.
My mom has two brothers and two sisters. Uncle Richie and I are not close. He has this thing where he thinks he's better than all of us. My Aunt Nancy is a crazy, sociopathic, megalomaniac, and a pathological liar who had cheated on her husband and then married her first cousin.Uncle Stephen and I were close when I was younger; somethings can never be unsaid. We aren't very close now. He has abandoned us in favor of his girlfriend's family. Aunt Joann was cool until recently; she pulled some stunts that have distanced us.
On my mom's side I only really talk to my cousin Danielle and her family, my cousin Jake, and the monster trio. Sarah and I were very close, but her mother is Aunt Nancy. I don't really see her all that much now. I'm cool with Uncle Bobby and Uncle Jackie. Great Aunt Joann is sweet and Uncle Jerry is hysterical.
My family isn't really made up of people I'm related to. Aunt Cindy is my mom's friend, as is Uncle Brian. Aunt Heather is my step-dad's sister. Sarah, Jake and Noah are Brian's kids. They are my family along with my step-sisters, my sister, my Mama, dad, and step-dad. I got Poppop, but that's only when he remembers us. My friends count for the other half of my family.
As I said in the beginning, we are lucky if we can find three people that we can call our true friends. I am fortunate enough to say that I have found twelve. We are oddly close for such a large group.
I know that outside of the group I have Tarzan, but he lives in another state and we aren't as close as we were, even if we talk to each other quite a lot on facebook. Mad Hatter and I aren't really as close anymore. I still care about him a lot, but I have realized that there is a lot that I am not comfortable talking to him about. He is still my friend, but he isn't my best friend anymore. It took me going into Riverview to realize that. He wasn't one of the people I wanted to visit me.
My two best friends are Megara and PJ. Megara and I have been friends since middle school. We had our first jobs together. I can tell her anything and trust her with everything. She is my sister in every sense except DNA. She is a part of my family and I know that she will always be someone I can count on. I would do anything for her. She has done so much for me, and I don't think I could ever repay her enough for it all.
PJ and I were set up on a blind date almost two years ago. It did not work out at all. I little over a year ago we started to talk on facebook. I invited him to my anti-Valentine's party and that was it. We started hanging out more and more. In the last year he has become one the best friend's I could have asked for. Yes, there are times when we get on each other's nerves and we cannot talk comics without getting into a full blown geek-war, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. He's like family now.
Sunshine is now a Kitten, and I'm glad that my sister and I are close enough now that we can share a group of friends without stepping n each other's toes.
Beret Girl and I knew each other in high school but we didn't become close until she started dating PJ. She is one of the funniest people I have ever met. We both fangirl over Glee, much to PJ's annoyance. She helps Megara and I prank PJ, and she is just awesome.
Tweedle Dee and I knew each other in high school as well. We both love glitter and are determined to take over the world with it one day. We are DC obsessed and love the same manga/anime. When we fangirl, we fangirl all out.
Tweedle Dum is just the sweetest guy I have ever met. He is very respectful, a little loud, and a lot o fun. He's one of those people that there presence just makes everyone feel safe and comfortable. He doesn't judge (no one in the group does). He is a great friend.
Flotsom is my cousin. She is a sweet girl, and very fun to hang out with. She is crazy and entertaining. Love when she comes out with us. She is just adorable.
Jetsom is Flotsom's best friend. She is awesome. We have a lot in common and talk a lot. She is very understanding and always keeps things interesting.
Knave of Hearts is just really something else. He and I have the same taste in movies, and most music. We agree on a lot except Glee. I will convert him into a Gleek one day! I love him, but I'll get over that eventually.
Ling is another one that I can tell anything to. He and Megara are the only ones who know about Riverview in its entirety. He is very sweet, kinda awkward, and all over awesome. He's a very fun person, and always interesting to hang out with.
Big Mama seems like she is older than all of us, but she isn't. She is a fun person and has a lot of good opinions and talents. I can't wait for her to get back during spring break.
New to the group is Caesar. He fits in with us perfectly. Jetsom introduced him to us. He's funny and smart. In a few weeks he'll be perfectly integrated with the rest of us.
The Kittens have very little boundaries. We tell each other almost everything, and we are completely comfortable around one another. We have pretty much zero tolerance for bullshit, and will call each other out if we think one of us is pulling it. We have very little conflict, almost non-existent. We balance one another out, we act crazy, but at the end of the day, we have each other's backs. They are my family and I caouldn't have asked for a better one.
It doesn't matter that I am not e=very close with my blood related family because true family isn't really about blood. It's about the people who love you for you. The ones who came into your life and never left. Family is about the people who will have your back while letting you know when you are being stupid. They stick with you through the bad times, and make the good times better. They tease you, and frustrate you, but you love them anyways. You piss them off, and argue, but know that when it counts, you will stand back to back. At the end end of they day, I know that I have my three parents, my stepsisters, my sister, two uncles, two Aunts, and a few cousins that make up half of my family. The other half are the Kittens. They are all my family, my real family. I wouldn't trade them for the world.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)