DNA Doesn't Make Them Family

In life we are lucky to find even three people that we can count on through anything. Three people that we can call true friends.

For me, I've never I had a close family. I have a large family and a lot of relatives  but we aren't a very close family. I don't really know anyone on my dad's side. I know my Uncle Al, who is the only blood related Uncle that I'm actually close to. My Grandma K, who I don't really get to see much. My Aunt Kathy, who passed away last March, and her daughter Jeni.

My mom has two brothers and two sisters. Uncle Richie and I are not close. He has this thing where he thinks he's better than all of us. My Aunt Nancy is a crazy, sociopathic, megalomaniac, and a pathological liar who had cheated on her husband and then married her first cousin.Uncle Stephen and I were close when I was younger; somethings can never be unsaid. We aren't very close  now. He has abandoned us in favor of his girlfriend's family. Aunt Joann was cool until recently; she pulled some stunts that have distanced us.

On my mom's side I only really talk to my cousin Danielle and her family, my cousin Jake, and the monster trio. Sarah and I were very close, but her mother is Aunt Nancy. I don't really see her all that much  now. I'm cool with Uncle Bobby and Uncle Jackie. Great Aunt Joann is sweet and Uncle Jerry is hysterical.

My family isn't really made up of people I'm related to. Aunt Cindy is my mom's friend, as is Uncle Brian. Aunt Heather is my step-dad's sister. Sarah, Jake and Noah are Brian's kids. They are my family along with my step-sisters, my sister, my Mama, dad, and step-dad. I got Poppop, but that's only when he remembers us. My friends count for the other half of my family.

As I said in the beginning, we are lucky if we can find three people that we can call our true friends. I am fortunate enough to say that I have found twelve. We are oddly close for such a large group.

I know that outside of the group I have Tarzan, but he lives in another state and we aren't as close as we were, even if we talk to each other quite a lot on facebook. Mad Hatter and I aren't really as close anymore. I still care about him a lot, but I have realized that there is a lot that I am not comfortable talking to him about. He is still my friend, but he isn't my best friend anymore. It took me going into Riverview to realize that. He wasn't one of the people I wanted to visit me.

My two best friends are Megara and PJ. Megara and I have been friends since middle school. We had our first jobs together. I can tell her anything and trust her with everything. She is my sister in every sense except DNA. She is a part of my family and I know that she will always be someone I can count on. I would do anything for her. She has done so much for me, and I don't think I could ever repay her enough for it all.

PJ and I were set up on a blind date almost two years ago. It did not work out at all. I little over a year ago we started to talk on facebook. I invited him to my anti-Valentine's party and that was it. We started hanging out more and more. In the last year he has become one the best friend's I could have asked for. Yes, there are times when we get on each other's nerves and we cannot talk comics without getting into a full blown geek-war, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. He's like family now.

Sunshine is now a Kitten, and I'm glad that my sister and I are close enough now that we can share a group of friends without stepping n each other's toes.

Beret Girl and I knew each other in high school but we didn't become close until she started dating PJ. She is one of the funniest people I have ever met. We both fangirl over Glee, much to PJ's annoyance. She helps Megara and I prank PJ, and she is just awesome.

Tweedle Dee and I knew each other in high school as well. We both love glitter and are determined to take over the world with it one day. We are DC obsessed and love the same manga/anime. When we fangirl, we fangirl all out.

Tweedle Dum is just the sweetest guy I have ever met. He is very respectful, a little loud, and a lot o fun. He's one of those people that there presence just makes everyone feel safe and comfortable. He doesn't judge (no one in the group does). He is a great friend.

Flotsom is my cousin. She is a sweet girl, and very fun to hang out with. She is crazy and entertaining. Love when she comes out with us. She is just adorable.

Jetsom is Flotsom's best friend. She is awesome. We have a lot in common and talk a lot. She is very understanding and always keeps things interesting.

Knave of Hearts is just really something else. He and I have the same taste in movies, and most music. We agree on a lot except Glee. I will convert him into a Gleek one day! I love him, but I'll get over that eventually.

Ling is another one that I can tell anything to. He and Megara are the only ones who know about Riverview in its entirety. He is very sweet, kinda awkward, and all over awesome. He's a very fun person, and always interesting to hang out with.

Big Mama seems like she is older than all of us, but she isn't. She is a fun person and has a lot of good opinions and talents. I can't wait for her to get back during spring break.

New to the group is Caesar. He fits in with us perfectly. Jetsom introduced him to us. He's funny and smart. In a few weeks he'll be perfectly integrated with the rest of us.

The Kittens have very little boundaries. We tell each other almost everything, and we are completely comfortable around one another. We have pretty much zero tolerance for bullshit, and will call each other out if we think one of us is pulling it. We have very little conflict, almost non-existent. We balance one another out, we act crazy, but at the end of the day, we have each other's backs. They are my family and I caouldn't have asked for a better one.

It doesn't matter that I am not e=very close with my blood related family because true family isn't really about blood. It's about the people who love you for you. The ones who came into your life and never left. Family is about the people who will have your back while letting you know when you are being stupid. They stick with you through the bad times, and make the good times better. They tease you, and frustrate you, but you love them anyways. You piss them off, and argue, but know that when it counts, you will stand back to back. At the end end of they day, I know that I have my three parents, my stepsisters, my sister, two uncles, two Aunts, and a few cousins that make up half of my family. The other half are the Kittens. They are all my family, my real family. I wouldn't trade them for the world.

Timing Is Everything

Timing Is Everything

Toxic Friends, Learning, and Growing Up

This will be the first in a new type of post. I have the Life Issues, so now I give you Lessons Learned. There are those moments in your life that you realize something. There's an epiphany and you suddenly realize that something you thought of as one way really isn't that way. We are always learning. Sometimes those lessons aren't easy; sometimes they may take years to finally settle in.

I have recently had one of those moments. I have or more accurately, had, a friend that was toxic to me. She's a hypocrite and always has to have her own way. She says she wants to kill herself for attention, but really has no intention of doing so. She tells everyone that she has bipolar disorder when she's never even been to a doctor to be checked for it. She only says she has it so she can use it as an excuse for throwing temper fits and being a flat out bitch to all of us. She admitted it to Megara that she's never actually been diagnosed or treated for it.

She looks down on everyone who doesn't share her opinion. She uses her religion as an excuse to not do things. Her sister, who's the same religion, has told us that nothing in their religion says she can't go into an herbal medicine store. I practice natural healing, which is actually an encouraged thing in most cultures. She has said on more than one occasion that everyone who she doesn't like, and she really doesn't like anyone, should die. She hates people that she doesn't even know!

So here it is, the first installment of:

Lessons Learned #1

Red Queen and I have been friends since we were 13. We've always been close, with the exception of the year we didn't speak. She's always been a big part of my life. When I met her, I didn't really know who I was. I wasn't really sure of anything. Red Queen was so self assured and knew exactly what she wanted. She had strong opinions. I latched onto her. I let her opinions become my own for awhile. I didn't tell her if I happened to disagree with her. I stayed in the back and let her do what she wanted. I let her be my voice for years.

When we stopped talking for that one year, I found out different things about myself. I started to find my own voice and opinions. I had a backbone and could stand up to anyone, except for her. I stayed quiet, and let it go when she said or did something that I didn't agree with. She had been there for me for so long that I felt I owed it to her to not say anything, to listen and blindly agree. 

In the past couple of months, Red Queen has been showing her true colors more and more. It will always have to be her way or no way. She is only happy if I stay quiet, if I just agree with her. She gets mad if someone would rather talk to me than her. When PJ brought the two of us to one of his friend's concerts, she threw a fit because I got along better with everyone there than she did. Concerts are my thing, it's my scene, and it really isn't hers. When PJ's other friends were chatting with us and talking about music and our favorite concerts, I joined in. I've been to quite a few concerts, done some stupid things while at them. Red Queen hadn't been to a real concert before. She didn't have stories to share. Instead of asking us about our stories or even trying to join in, she stormed off. She had never been to the town the concert was held in before; it is mostly definitely not the place to be wandering around in at night, especially if you don't know your way around.

But I didn't get mad. I went to find her, and I thankfully did. PJ took over talking to her, and I enjoyed what was left of the concert. Eventually Red Queen chilled out and joined us. She didn't talk to anyone that wasn't me or PJ, but she was happy. I let it go. She was my friend and I had to be nice.

All of it had been building up to the breaking point, which was hit last night. It all blew up in a text fight of all things. Though if I had seen her in person, I might have killed her. 

Some background first. Abby (not her real name) and I were best friends for four years. things happened and our friendship ended up in flames. It took a couple years, but we had sat down and actually talked out what had happened between us. Her and I will never be friends again, but we had owed it to our former friendship and to each other to get rid of the anger and the grudge. Abby and I can respect each other now,  but we know and understand that we are better off not being in each other's lives.

When Abby and I were younger, she spent two weeks living with me because of her step father. Abby grew up watching her step father beating her mother. When she tried to stop him one time, she ended up with glass in her arm from a vase and a dictionary thrown at her head. She stayed with us until her wounds healed up enough. She is against domestic abuse and will never let her son be raised around it.

And all of you remember Morgan the Perv from my last update post? Yeah, the Red Queen was out hanging with him and Femme Fetale last night. Remember how Morgan beats woman? Especially the minors? Yeah, shit hit the fan last night. 

It started out simply enough. I was a little text that turned into a blow out fight that ended a seven year friendship.

Red Queen: Are you at the Commons?

Me: No. Why?

Red Queen: Just Wondering.

Me: Don't worry, none of us are  there.

Red Queen: Good.

Me: Next weekend though, we will be there. Good to know you're we aren't there.

Red Queen: Cause I'm hanging out with Morgan at this moment.

Me: I know. Called PJ to let him know not to go over there tonight. Didn't want him going to jail for beating someone not worth the effort.

(I would like to add that PJ has Morgan listed as "Kill On Sight". He will not forgive Morgan for what he has done to Flotsom. He does not like what Morgan did to Megara, my sisters and I.)

Red Queen: We aren't even there.

Me: You asked me. I took precaution. The group does not need another police incident. Especially at the Commons. And by that, I mean the cop who has it out for PJ's car.

(The Commons is the shopping plaza that our group of friends usually hangs out at on a weekly basis. And let us not forget the police incident that Morgan got himself into for getting Flotsom drunk and putting her in the hospital. Morgan is a 22 year old man. Flotsom is 17.)

Red Queen: I asked you to see if you were there cause they wanted to go. Now they don't.

Me: Ok. I didn't know that when I called. Again, would rather not have him (PJ) in jail. Breet Girl and I cannot get him to let go of the anger. It is a precaution.

Red Queen: Me either. But all of you need to get over this shit. You really do. You are all being immature.

Me: Not trusting him (Morgan) or not being comfortable around him isn't being immature. The anger may be. Forgiving someone for messing with your family is hard to do. Getting rid of toxic people in your life isn't immature; it's being an adult and moving on. Morgan is not worth being in some of our lives, and that includes my family's as well.

Red Queen: Yeah and you haven't done shit that isn't forgivable right? At least I'm being an adult and forgiving someone for what they have done. You are not being an adult at all. You are just really taking sides. All of you. I'm not on anyone's side with this. You all are being fucking immature about the whole damn situation.

Me: It wasn't your family Red Queen, it was mine he hurt and messed with. Not everyone has to be kept around. I will never agree with a man hurting a woman. I am not okay with an adult man acting that way with underage girls.

Red Queen: I was there he didn't do shit.

(That'/s funny. When the crap went down with Morgan and Flotsom, Jetsom was the only one who was there. And she was there when Morgan hit on my then 15 year old sister. She saw him getting way to handsy with Sunshine.  My parents saw that. My dad didn't like it one bit. She wasn't there when he inappropriately groped my 12 year old sister. Her sister saw that one though, and she made hi back away from my sister.)

Me: Red Queen, being an adult isn't taking everyone back in your life because they feel bad. Being an adult is doing what is best for you and the people you care about. Family isn't just blood and you forget that Flotsom is my cousin. It isn't taking sides. He is not good for my life and I am not having that toxic behavior in  my life.

Red Queen: No, you only knoe Flotsom's side of the damn story. You don't know the whole story. You didn't even get Morgan's side of the story cause you refuse to listen to his side. Yet you listen to Flotsom's. Okay, that is taking sides, Amanda. You, PJ, Knave, and whoever else took Flotsom's side and believed everything she said. You have hurt people too and they probably have forgiven you. Abby, for example, at least you both have a little respect for each other.

(That was the WRONG thing for her to say. First, Abby was the one who slept with the guy I was with. She hurt me. I didn't hurt her...until the revenge went too far, but I wasn't alone in that one. Second, Red Queen is using a victim of domestic abuse as a reason for me to forgive a grown man who assaults, and gropes underage girls. That was the breaking point. I couldn't handle Red Queen anymore. I couldn't sit back and let her think that everyone has to bow down to her. What kind of person uses a victim of domestic abuse to defend a domestic abuser?)

Me: I did listen to Morgan's side. I was on the phone with him the night it happened. I don't fully believe either of them. If you hadn't noticed, I'm not entirely comfortable with Flotsom either, but she's family. I don't want Morgan in my life for quite a few other reasons. It isn't taking sides when Flotsom is family so she will always be in my life. My problem with Morgan started the night we got into the fight at you house. That was before he even knew Flotsom. Wanna accuse me of picking sides? Learn why I don't want him in my life first. And Abby is a different story; we had about four years of being best friends. Her and I had history and she was a big part of my life, that's why I wanted to be on civil ground with her. I don't have history with Morgan. I owe him nothing. I will not be friends with someone that will only bring drama and anxiety into my life.

I'm sick enough, sweetie, I'm not going to bring someone into my life that will cause more problems then I can handle. Bringing him back into my life isn't worth the stress it would put on my body. I think looking after my own health is my top priority. Not your twisted version of maturity.

Face it, in 5 years we will be lucky if we still talk to even five of the people we are friends with now. If we're really lucky we may still be good friends with two of them. Not everyone is meant to stay and certain people just shouldn't be kept around. Not everyone has to stay friends and play nice, shit happens. Growing up and being an adult is moving on and handling what you have to. People come and go; not everyone we meet is our obligation to keep around. Not everyone moves ahead with us. Sometimes being an adult is moving forward alone. We are adults now Red Queen, it's time we started acting like it. Not everything can be fixed with apologies and not everything will work out. I will stop talking about Morgan if you can except that I have a right to not want him in my own life.

Red Queen: You aren't being an adult. You really need to get over it. All of you. You are acting like little fucking babies. And no you didn't fucking listen to his side. I know you didn't because you told me you didn't.

(Funny that she says I told her something I know I didn't. I said I wouldn't listen to him trash talk Flotsom and Jetsom at the table in the restaurant we were all sitting in. Not listening to him trash my friends is a different thing. I had already heard his side before that. I didn't need to keep hearing him tell the same story 20 different ways, using worse language to describe my friends each time.)

Me; I spent an hour on the phone with him crying about it the night it happened. Have the phone bill to prove it too. You aren't being an adult either. You can't respect anyone's opinion that isn't yours. I can tolerate Morgan enough to no longer bad mouth him but you need to respect my decision to not want him in my life.  That's a compromise. That is being mature. If you can't find a middle ground and will only accept your way or no way then this isn't going to work.

~~~~~~~~~~~

And that was it. Red Queen did't respond back. I did get a text message from Red Queen's sister though. That convo was as follows;

Lafayette: You & REd Queen stop fighting..

Me: I said my piece. I'm done now. She brought Abby into it and I lost it. I am very sorry if this is causing you any stress. You are one of my best friends and I don't want anything to come between us but I can't handle  your sister's high horse anymore. It has to be her way or you're wrong. I will not take her looking down on me for  not agreeing with her anymore; it's driving me crazy. I love you, but I  don't think I can handle Red Queen anymore.

Lafayette: I'm already stressed that my sister is possibly leaving the state. If you two are done being friends fine. Sometimes it's not meant to be. And how Red Queen is, that's how she is. You deal with her or you don't. I'm not discussing this anymore. It's done and over with. Move on. 

Me: As long as it doesn't affect out friendship. I still care about Red Queen, but like you said some things aren't  meant to be...not matter how much I wish they were. It's sad to know we're all growing up and apart. I just hope that we can still be okay.

~~~~~~

I haven't heard from either sister since. I love Lafayette. She's an amazing friend, but Red Queen is her sister and I understand that she's most likely mad at me. It's a tough pill to swallow, but the price of getting a toxic person out of my life may just being losing a friend that I truly care about. 

The lesson learned here is that sometimes the friends you've had the longest, aren't the ones that will stand by you. Just because you were close when you were younger, doesn't mean that they aren't hurting you. Sometimes you've been around it for so lang that you become used to it. You don't realize how much they are holding you back, how much they mistreat you until it's too late.

You may notice it, but think you owe it to them to brush it under the rug and forget about it. Sometimes you really need to stand back and think. Have they really done anything to help you? Have they ever given you a reason to owe them? Have you given more than they have? While you're working hard and stressing yourself out to keep the friendship going, are they even trying? How do they get us into thinking that we owe them at all when all they do is use us as doormats? The truth is we don't owe them and we don't need them. Sometimes the most toxic people in our lives are the ones that we thought were our closest friends. 

Not everyone is going to stay with us forever. We will stand alone sometimes. We may feel like we made a horrible choice in getting rid of the people that are bringing us down, but it will get better. It may not seem better now, or it may seem brighter instantly. Eventually everything will work out like they're supposed to. If we can count on one hand, the number on friends we know will stand behind us and have our back, then we can count ourselves lucky. 

True friends are hard to come by, but we can't keep the toxic ones around because we're afraid of what will happen when they're gone. It will just end up hurting us in the long run. So get rid of the toxic "friends", be strong if you have to stand alone for awhile, because the friends that are worth it, the ones that will stand by you through everything, they will find their way to you eventually. You just have to keep moving forward and know you made the right choice. 

If you have any advice, I'd love to hear it, and if you have a question, I'll do my best to answer it.

Until next time,  I wish you well.

 

Sincerely, 

Irony. 

New Year, New Adventures, Same Crazy Roller Coaster

Things have been a little hectic over here but that's no reason to neglect you guys. I'll give you a little rundown of the chaos. 

1.) The deli is closed down. We were told right before Sandy hit. So I am out of a job. 

2.) My great-grandmother died last month.

3.) My sister, Sunshine, turned 16 last month.

4.) My youngest sister turned 7 on the 2nd.

5.) Femme Fatale's little brother passed away right before Christmas.

6.) My Pop-pop is in a nursing home now. He cannot go back home or my Uncle will get arrested for elderly abuse. Not sure if I already told y'all that.

7.) Sunshine got herself a boyfriend!

And lastly, I have a new cast in my life. Out with the old in with the new! I realized that certain people just don't belong in my life anymore..though there are some that I still have worked up the courage to kick out of it. I keep trying to reason my cowardice by saying that I'm moving to Canada in April, I just don't want to cause drama now.

Sunshine ~ My now 16 year old half sister. We possibly have different fathers. My mother isn't too sure on that one. She just got her first boyfriend. She has one of the worst attitudes I have ever seen. It's to the point she's just saying things to purposely hurt everyone around her. Bitch.

Brighty ~ My 12 year old step sister. She has ADD, and is a little out there. She likes to thin that she's older than she is. We've been trying to get it through her head that she can't keep chatting up people she doesn't know online, and we really need to get her to stop giving out her cell n\umber to them!

Chunk-a-Muffin ~ My youngest step sister. She is adorably pudgey. She is full of energy and imagination. Though she tends to say things that we have no clue where she learned it from. (The dreaded "I'm gonorrhea-saurus!" phrase from August....)

Megara ~ As always, we have my best friend. She has finally raised her GPA enough to transfer to the school she actually wants to go to. Let's hope Spidey-boy gets jealous enough to confess to her.\

Mad Hatter/Hatter ~ My baby! He is and always will be one of the most important people to me. I may have outed him and his boyfriend to some of my family...whoops!

March Hare/Mad March ~ My hopefully, soon-to-be brother-in-law. The Mad Hatter's boyfriend. He calls me his sister now!

Femme Fatale ~ She has finally decided to stay single for awhile. About time! And she is kicking Morgan the pedophile top the curb! (I will explain about him after this.)

Dodger ~ He's still the same. Only now I can actually stay pissed at him. So getting even with him..he needs to not treat me like I can't do anything!

Cheshire ~ I wish we could talk more, but things just get really crazy sometimes. Cross continent friendships are hard, but we've managed for about 3 years now.

Now we have everyone else. They are the group that calls them selves the Kittens. Megara and I belong in this group.

P.J.~ This is the new name for Dee. He finally managed to land himself an awesome girlfriend. That's something the Red Queen isn't exactly thrilled about. He's happier that I've seen him in awhile.

Beret Girl ~ P.J.'s girlfriend! I new her in high school. She's pretty cool and very fun to be around. We always have a great time when we all go out. With her in the group, we have added some more of our hometown friends. The group has become lighter and more fun since she joined.

Red Queen ~ She is still the same. Causing drama and getting mad at us for no reason at all. She's starting to get on every one's nerves, including her own sister. We are all walking on eggshells to not piss her off, lest she kill us all. She is currently with a beau but she is extremely jealous of P.J. and Beret Girl's relationship.

Lafayette ~ Formally known as Tiger Lily. She is still the same crazy girl she was. We've started hanging out more again, and I'm glad. I may not get along with her sister half of the time, but at least it isn't straining our friendship.

Tweedle Dee ~ He is fabulous! He shares my love of Batman and all things DC. He's a Naruto fan, pansexual, and completely amazing! I've known him for a couple years and it's great actually being able to hand out with him without all the drama.

Tweedle Dum ~ He is amazing with cameras. I shouldn't be surprised since he's amazing at TV and production club. He's a great person to be friends with, and he's very understanding. He's one of those crazy fun people that have a really comforting presence. 

Big Mama ~ She hasn't been in the group long, but she is fun and definitely someone I can't wait to hang out with more.

Flotsom ~ She is a little ball of hyper-active sexual energy. There is no other way to put her. She's entertaining and fun to be around. She's adorable. Her and the Knave of Hearts have sexual tension that is so thick, you could cut it with a knife. They would make an adorable couple if they just got their act together, and actually got together.

Knave of Hearts ~ He is only 16 but when we're all hanging out, it's really easy to forget that. I wouldn't have even known. When I first met him, I thought he was 18/19. He runs track, is sexy as all Hell, and happens to be so sweet. I stupidly have ended up with actual feelings for him. It's so fucked up. Not only is the 3 year age difference a big deal, he's in love with someone else, and she happens to be dating an ass hole, but has no problem having her mouth attached to him at all times when they are hanging out. I know in 10 years the 3 year difference won't be a big deal, but right now it is. I'm leaving in a couple months and will be gone for almost a year. By then Flotsom and Knave should be happily together. Doesn't make make the pain in my chest hurt any less, but I know it's best this way. With the exception of Megara, the Tweedles, PJ and Beret Girl, no one knows. Well Lafayette does...some of them figured it out, and they all just tried making me feel better about the whole thing. I don't think I would've made it through that night without some of them.

Jetsom ~ Flotsom's best friend. She is one of the most interesting people I have ever met. She is truly one of a kind, and I'm lucky I got to meet her. She made an interesting impression on my dad and Sunshine. I hope I stay friends with her for a long time.

Ling ~ He is the most normal of the group...and that's saying something about us. Our friendship started quite interestingly. Alcohol was involved..and he had to help me in my house because I couldn't walk straight. I almost would've went out with him, but I'm glad I didn't. I like him better as a friend.

Okay! So now it is time to explain Morgan the pedophile!

So it's a long story.....I will just summarize it. He was friends with Lafayette and Femme Fatale's ex. He tried to hook-up with me, I introduced him to Megara. He Made inappropriate passes at my then 15 year old and 12 year old sisters. He's 22. He threatens to leave me a far ways from my home because I said I  wouldn't marry him..I'd only known him a week. He yelled at me when Megara turned him down. We find out he keeps a lot of naked pictures of his Ex gf's on his computer. He buys some of the Kitten's alcohol. We all get drunk. He gets Flotsom drunk a couple times after this when it was just her. It ends up with Jetsom going outside to see Morgan screaming and going nuts on Flotsom, and her crying on the ground. He proceeds to trash talk the two of them, then quite a few of the Kittens. He tries to talk about me to Megara through texts while I'm sitting across the table from him. I get mad and tell him off. He talks about me to Jetsom. Megara tells him that we are half-sisters, and he finally leaves her alone. He gets engaged to a 16 year old that may have given him Hep C. They enter a triad with Holez. That ends with a restraining order, the 16 year-old's head bashed in a wall, and Morgan doing a quick stink in the Nut House. Him and Hoelz decide to be together. after a couple weeks they decide they want to have a baby. Now it's been a month and they are engaged. Lafayette told him off 2 days ago, as did Femme Fatale. He isn't talking to any of us now. He told Femme Fatale that he didn't want to hear it when her little brother died, but he expected her to listen to his relationship problems. He is an ass hole.

That's a quick recap of everything since the middle of October. It's been fun, crazy, depressing and totally fucked up. Glad the year is finally done, but I know new problems lie ahead, and I'm ready for it. It's a new year, and I'm not exactly the same as I was but i'm still me. I'm ready to kick ass this year. The Kittens will be taking over! And hopefully my book will be published. Look forward to the up coming year everyone! In a couple months, all new people will be coming in. A whole new life in another country! Be prepared because Heaven knows I'm not!

Until next time,

Sincerely, 

Irony

Princess, Working, and Martyr's For Attention

Have you ever worked with that one person who has your boss wrapped around their pretty little finger? The co-worker who suffers bare minimum consequences for things that you would get fired if you even considered doing? The one who knows that no matter what they do, they won't get fired? In this instance it happens to the fairest of them all; our own little princess, Snow White. Give her a round of applause, but only if you're a guy, since that's the only attention she can hold.

We all have this one type of person in our lives. They went through something difficult in their past and made it through spectacularly, but then they start to put themselves in even more hard situations that they could have easily avoided. They turn themselves into a martyr, the never-ending victim. The put themselves into hardships to get everyone's sympathy.They can never be at fault; no matter what they do to anyone around them, they will convince everyone that they are the only victim.

Life Issue #5

On Sunday September 30, Snow White came to work high off of her ass. Megara was hanging out at the deli for a bit. Mufasa, Snow White and, I were the ones on shift. Well the ever intellegent Snow White told Megara and I that she had smoked pot before coming to work and was effectively stoned out of her mind. She almost took me out with a cutting board, Megara had to apologize to customers for Snow White's behavior and Mufasa and I had to fix all of her mistakes. She screwed up orders, couldn't speak right and had no clue what the hell she was doing!

Megara had informed my father and Frollo about what Snow White had done. Mufasa and I told them the exact same thing and apparently so did a customer.They were mad for like two days and then nothing.A slap on the wrist and she was good to go!

The day after she got caught, dad and Frollo called Snow White into the office and they told her it was a slap in the face and they were upset with her. They took it too personally. They told her that more than one of her co-workers said something but she somehow only blames me for it. She told Megara that I was a bitch, and that I need to mind my own business. She makes all of her business everyone else's business, but that's another story I'll save for a couple paragraphs after this one. She told my dad that she does all the cleaning on Sundays and that all I do is talk. (Let's just take a break for a second to clear a few things up:
1.) I close pretty much everyday, so I clean up the morning worker's messes 5 days a week. They don't really clean because they know someone's coming in after them.
2.) She only cleans on Sundays. That's the only day a week that she does it!
3.) She spends all day talking; she tells the regulars about everything going on in her life. She saddles up to Frollo and my dad to give them all the latest gossip from her life. If you won't talk to her, then she'll throw a temper fit and tell everyone you're being mean to her for no reason. And she spends all day on her phone!) Now I'm the first to admit that I like to talk, and I do slack sometimes, but if someone points out something that I'm doing wrong, then I will try my hardest to not do it again. You wanna know who's side they're on? The stoned little princess.

Yes, you read that right. Snow White comes to work high, and Megara and I are the ones who get yelled at after. All Snow White had to do was complain about us, and they were all for jumping on our backs over it. Nevermind the fact that Snow White always lies to them, plays them and they know it too. They know she's lied to them more times than she can count.....wait that's only to 5 and I'm being generous. Okay she's lied to them more times than the deli's accountant can count. Go figure that they took her side, she has such redeeming qualities, no?

If we have a problem with her, then they tell us to handle it ourselves, they say, "Well, what can you do?" Well you know what? Fuck that! Fuck the bullshit! And fuck the moronic little princess to the darkest depths of the Hell that she believes in!

For some background on Snow White, know that this isn't the first time we've had issues with her since she started at the end of February.

Snow White had been in an abusive relationship with a man 20 years her senior when she started. After a month of working with us, she left the bastard and moved in with my dad. She would continuously go back to Georgie Porgie (this is what the ass shall be known as), and let my dad think that he had a chance with her. She fucked with his feelings and with his head just because she could.

Now don't let Georgie Porgie's abusive nature towards her fool you, she gives just as good as she gets. He'll hit her, and she'll hit back. He controls her, and she manipulates him. They fight, hurt, accuse and break each other, things get better for  few weeks and the whole sick cycle carousel starts all over again. Snow White isn't as stupid as she acts; she knows what she's doing. She plans out how to get Georgie Porgie to do whatever she wants while making him think it was all his idea.

I don't agree with domestic abuse, I think it is disgusting and horrible, but Snow White has had so many outs. She got away from him, and was doing great, but when we all stopped showering her in attention because she was actually safe now, she went back to him. She likes to abuse and she likes the fight.

Snow White is one of those people who isn't happy unless everyone else thinks they aren't. She likes everyone trying to make sure that she's okay when she's perfectly fine. Her and Georgie Porgie are dependent on each other's misery and pain. They aren't happy together but they're miserable without one another. They can't function unless they know the other is going to be there for them to hurt and break down. They get off on being able to anger one another, making each other cry; They break one another down to their worst, and most vulnerable and continue breaking each other down till there's nothing left for themselves but each other. It's disgusting, but they are worse people when they aren't together.

When Snow White wasn't with Georgie Porgie, and right after they got back together the first time, during those two months, she manipulated my dad. She flirted with him, even though she knew that she would never stray far from Georgie Porgie. She knew that she was never going to give my dad a chance, but she continued to play him to gain slack at work, which ended up with everyone else having to work harder because she barely was.

Snow White may claim to be a very religious person, but she is one of the biggest sinners that I know. She thrives on attention and playing with males' feelings. She has little in the way of remorse and she will take down anyone that stands in the way of her getting what she wants. Right now Megara and I are standing in the way of her keeping all the leeway she's gotten at work. She's already got Frollo and my father wrapped around her dainty little finger; she talks shit about me and has my father defending it!

Let's face it, the real Snow White's issue was that she was too pretty so females hated her and all these guys were falling all over themselves to help her, and letting them think they were coming up wit the terms when in fact, she set the terms.She sat back and let all these different guys do her dirty work.The Snow White I work with, she has pretty much no female friends because she gets mad when they don't fall for her bullshit. She has mostly guy friends, and she let's them "choose" what she does, but she leads them all around by the nose. She has the guys around her finger, and tricks them into doing her dirty work. They really aren't much different. All together, Snow White is one pathetic excuse for a princess. It's a good thing she's pretty because she really does't have much else going for her; her personality is shit.





So the main points here are:

1.) Snow White came to work high, and barely got more than a slap on the wrist. Megara and I are paying for it. (The only thing I know is that Snow White's paycheck was affected.)

2.) Snow White only blames me for them finding out about it, and is targeting me.

3.) She has the bosses wrapped around her finger so no matter what she does, she'll never get fired for it.

*Bonus*

When we had the first issue with Snow White, Megara actually had to take a vacation from working at the deli because Snow White's manipulations on my dad were too much to deal with. It's starting to get to that point again for her. Snow White has no respect for anyone around her.

I don't know how things are going to play out now. We have a staff meeting later on today since it is now past midnight. Megara and I aren't going to say anything. It isn't worth it. Snow White will never get in trouble and the blame always falls on Megara and I. If they ask why we aren't talking, "Well what can you do about it?" And, "It is what it is."

If you have any advice, I'd love to hear it, and if you have a question, I'll do my best to answer it.

Until next time, this is Irony wishing you well.



Sincerely, 
~ILive4Irony417 a.k.a Amanda.

Hello Again, Out With The Old, Welcome The New

Alright everyone! I know it's been a long time since I've added a new post and things have gotten pretty changed up here since last time. Today's post will not be a life problem blog; it's just going to be a quick catch up for all of you.

So SA and I are just friends, as always. JB and I grew apart and have not spoken in a couple of months. TC and I tried the couple thing, and we work as fiends a lot better. TH has moved in with his father and is attending rehab.

I am still currently single, not looking to mingle. There are a new cast of people in my life at this point, so I'll give you the rundown of my new cast.

Megara- My female best friend and confidant. She's a bit out there, like me and has a complete dirty mind. Previously MC.

Dodger- My super-powered Indian friend. Love the kid to death, how he doesn't colapse under the pressure of his life is beyond me. He's not really super-human (obviously); I just like to think he is. He has the ego the size of Russia, and he likes to think he's a genius...he is, just not when it comes to the creative aspects of the English language. Previously NP.

Snow White- My co-worker. There was some issues with her in the middle, but she's ok now. She's in an abusive relationship with a guy 20 years her senior. She's a complete air-head, and flakey, but she's still pretty cool.

Dee- Dee is a friend on stand-still. I've put a hold on our friendship after he said some messed up things about my family; even though they were true for the most part, he still had no right to say them after all my family has done to support him since he came out as bi-gender. For the sake of it, even though his a she sometimes, I'm just gonna type he. Previously DT.

Afro- That is his actual nickname. He is Dodger's friend, and I've hung out with him a few times. He's really nice and pretty cool.

Brony- He's a cool guy, just obsessed with My Little Pony. He's friends with Afro and Dodger.

Frollo- My other boss. (The one that isn't my dad.) He's a perv, and an ass. His wife is continuously cheating on him, but he also hits on a lot of women and has said some not appropriate things to Megara and I.

Hades- My amazing friend. Almost dated him 3 years ago. Turns out that he's gay. Found that out when he dated and 69'd Megara's brother. Still friends with him and we talk quite a bit.

Cheshire- My fellow fanfiction-er and fabulous friend. She lives in Seattle and has the cutest little daughter. Previously EN.

Hobbit- Dodger's friend. He earned this nickname, when he came to visit me at work and my dad said he looked like the hobbit dude from Lord Of The Rings.

Baloo- He's not so much a friend as he is aquantince.I met him at a concert through Dee. He's a cool guy, loves parties and drugs. We talk semi-frequently.

Mad Hatter/Hatter- My male best friend and other half. He is gayer than the day is long. He's in the closet to almost everyone, and he knows me better than I know myself. Previously MW.

March Hare/Mad March- He is Mad Hatter's boyfriend. I've known him for about 2 years, I think. They are adorable together. He somehow manages to put up with the odd dependancy issue Hatter and I have.

Tito- Hatter's little brother. I call him my own little brother.

Femme Fatale- My new-old-friend. We stopped talking for awhile but we are almost back to where we were.

Red Queen- She's an on-again-off-again friend that I've had for a long time. Previously known as AA on here. Currently our friendship is on stand-still.

Mushu- He's the ex of an old friend that I started to talk to again. We aren't really that close but we talk quite a bit.

Scat Cat- Previously known as SA. He's the ex of a former friend. We have a lot in common. We don't talk much anymore, but we till exchange songs we think the other would like.

Tiger Lily- Previously known as GA. She is one of my closest friends. She is boy crazy, totally out there and I love her to death. We have the same taste in music, and when we're together, we act insane. She is Red Queen's sister.

Milo Thatch- Previously known as TC. The romance is gone, but we're still friends. He's pretty awkward, but a nice guy overall. He really has no clue when it comes to girls.

Tigger- Milo's little sister and my sister's best friend.

Kida- My sister and Tigger's friend.

Mufasa- My newest co-worker. He's pretty cool. I think he's most likely gay. He's pretty funny, and knows what he's doing.

Esmerelda- A girl from my belly dancing class. She's very nice. I dyed her hair for her and she did my nails. She's 25.

Asch- This is her last name. She's another woman from my belly dancing class. She's very nice and I recently went to one of her parties.

Caterpillar- He's friends with Milo. I've known one of his brothers for years. He's usually very nice. He just had his feelings fucked with for over a year by some chick that Tigger is friends with. Currently he's doing the same thing to me and I don't like it. I really do like him though.

White Rabbit- He's a Karate instructor at the dojo by the deli I work at. He's extremely good looking, but I have no romantic interest in him what-so-ever. He's a good friend and is going to Japan in October.General concensus says that he likes me, but I really hope that they are all wrong.






So, why don't I tell you all a little about myself that I haven't, but should share.

Ever been in love?: Yes, once. His name was Justin, but on here I'll call him Jack (Jack- Pixie Lott....good song)

First kiss: I choose to not remember it. I'm counting the one with Milo as my first.

Ever had sex?: No. Asexual...no sex drive...sorry guys.

Ever hated someone?: Nope. I think I may have once, but I can't remember who. I've been close, but I've never truly hated someone.



If you have anything else you want to know about me, then ask. I'll answer as best as I can.

Until next time ~

Love~

Irony

Fair-Weather Friends, Giving Up, Letteing Go

Fair-weather friends, everyone of us has them. They're the type of friends that are always there when it's convenient, or they need something, but when it comes time to return the favor they are never there. Sometimes we can be at fault of being one as well. While they aren't the most reliable, they are generally harmless; it's there darker twin that you have to watch out for.

I'm sure we've all witnessed this. The friend with a lot of issues that you're always helping out, but not only do they not return the favor, but they take everything out on you, even when you had nothing to do with why they're mad.

Life Issue # 4

Lately I have been finding myself hanging out with TH, AA, GA, and DT a lot. We've hung out maybe seven times in the last couple weeks. On St. Paddy's Day, we all went to a picnic with some of DT's college buddies. I brought MW and his friend AL with us. TH couldn't make it. AA, DT, and I didn't have our phones on us so instead of texting GA, TH flipped on us and said some very mean things that were uncalled for.

I would like to state that whatever minuscule crush that I had on TH is gone. Aesthetics doesn't count for personality at all! Even if I ever decided to be moronic enough to go that route after all his bullshit, I wouldn't because MW doesn't approve of him. MW and have to give the one another our approval if we were to seriously date anyone. My lovely best friend was ready to hit TH on my behalf.

I refused to talk to TH after that. After a couple days, I wasn't mad at him, but I wasn't going to talk to him either. I was just gonna let him go. Why should I put myself through anymore drama than I have to? It's not like I owe him anything, and it's not like I've known him that long so it's not like it's hard to just be done with him.

About five days ago I found out that my Aunt Grape is dying. She doesn't have long and she's already getting things ready for her passing. She knows she's going to die and I am devastated that such an amazing person has to die. The following afternoon I found out that my Great Grandfather had passed away. I didn't know what to feel. Everything was kinda warring itself out inside of me.

AA and DT decided that I needed something to take my mind off of everything. So they planned a big thing yesterday to cheer me up. TH had finally apologized so I was fine about him tagging along. Him and DT got into a little row and TH started to storm off. I asked him if he was just gonna leave and he said yes. He said he didn't care about what the day meant to me and it ended in a lot of profanity. He made me cry. AA was not happy with him. TH thought the whole thing was funny.

We left and went to go get something to eat when TH called AA because he left his Nook in the car. We went to go give it to him at his house. He made AA get out of the car to hand it to him. When she told him to apologize he just walked away. I got out of the car and said, "The least you could do is apologize." He just walked away. With everything going on, my stress level hit a high and I had a panic attack.

I haven't talked to him since. This morning I had to go to say goodbye to my Aunt and then go to my Poppy's wake. TH has spent the day making AA miserable. She's upset and doesn't know what to do. I( told her to just drop him.he starts talking to him again before he apologizes, then he won't apologize and he'll keep doing the same thing over and over again. He needs to learn that you can't lash out and treat people like crap and expect them to just deal with it and keep being there. If you hurt someone enough times, then they won't stick around. I've been through enough guys treating me like crap and I am not going to do it again.



On a side note, GA has a thing for MW. She doesn't seem to get that he is gay. And then there is the fact that he is "dating" a girl that happens to be very sweet, and knows that she's bearding. His boyfriends happens to be a good friend of mine also. She's starting to get really annoying with the whole thing. She started using my nickname for him, and she's starting to act just like I do with him. I know this might be paranoia, but it's like she's getting ready to nudge me out and take my place once I move to Canada at the end of the year. He is my best friend, he isn't into girls, and he's in a relationship. She needs to get it through her head.

What really got me was that she told me to not be so possessive over him! I am possessive of the nickname I gave him and I am only possessive of him when some chick comes in and thinks she can turn him straight! MW's brother agrees with me and he wants to set GA right. The two of us have waited for a long time for MW to be in a happy, healthy, stable relationship; MW is finally starting to except himself and his brother and I will be damned if we let some girl ruin that for him.

She also accused me of being in love with him. Yeah, no. Don't get me wrong. I love my MW to death, but I am in no way in love with him. The thought of dating him makes me feel sick, just like the thought of dating anyone does. I do not like the idea of relationships, and I definitely don't partake in them. I am just fine being independent. While I do get crushes and develop feelings for some guys, I just don't want to have a relationship. MW and I are codependent, not in a relationship.
(MW and his boyfriend have some intentions of following me up to Canada and then the three of us are going to rent an apartment together.)




So the main points here are:

1.) TH has been taking his problems out on AA, DT, and I. We don't deserve his backlash when we didn't do anything wrong.

2.) I am not speaking to TH, and I am over my tiny little crush on him. I have nine months left in NJ, and I am not going to spend it in confusion over some guy.

3.) My Aunt Grape is dying, and my Great Grandfather just passed away. I Said goodbye to my Aunt this  morning and I went to Poppy's wake this afternoon.

4.) TH knew yesterday was supposed to be about cheering me up and he said he didn't care, said some horrible things to me, AA, and DT. Made me cry and induced a panic/anxiety attack.

5.) GA has a crush on a very gay and very not single MW. She doesn't seem to get the, 'He doesn't like boobies and vaginas' thing. And I am paranoid that she is trying to replace me as MW's best friend.

I'm not sure if things will be okay between TH and I ever again. I know that AA is going to talk to him whether or not he apologizes just because she feels bad. I am not sure if DT and TH will ever be friends again, but I hope things work out for them. I just know that I am not going to put myself in this type of situation again. I've come a long way from the insecure little girl I used to be.

I will admit that I am still insecure at times, but at least I know enough now to realize that I don't need this. I deserve more then to be stepped on by someone who claims to be my friend. If he can't put his need for attention aside for one day, just to be there for someone else, than I don't need him. I can't trust him now, so why would I put myself in a friendship that I can't trust? The whole point of being friends and caring about someone is that it's supposed to go both ways, and for TH it doesn't. All he does is take and yell and then expect everyone to just be fine with it because it's him. It's not okay. I'm not playing games until I leave. If he wants to earn my friendship back, then he's going to have to work for it. Some half arsed apology that I doubt I'll even get that, won't cut it.

If you have any advice, I'd love to hear it, and if you have a question, I'll do my best to answer it.

Until next time, this is Irony wishing you well.



Sincerely,
~ILive4Irony417 a.k.a Amanda.